Next July Fools Day
by TeamEdwardCullen8208
Summary: SEQUEL TO JULY FOOLS DAY? Bella's a big bad vamp now, and she's got a few tricks up her sleeve. With a new power and newborn superstrength, anything can happen. And you can rest assured that something will.
1. You Get Me Closer To God

**FOR FAIR WARNING, IF YOU HAVE NOT READ JULY FOOLS DAY? NONE OF THIS WILL MAKE AN ONCE OF SENSE TO YOU. **

**DISCLAIMER- I don't own Twilight. I do, however own July Fools Day. Copy it, and I may just have to cut you. **

**A/N- Well, here is it! My long (but hopefully not too long) awaited sequel is finally here! I'll be updating as often as I can, but it all depends on my school workload. Hopefully, I'll be done by the time finals roll around. If not, ya'll are gonna be totally screwed out of updates for like 2 whole weeks. **

**But, anyways, I had my major epiphany today. (My BIG events all come to me in a burst of intuition. Everything for me occurs by pure happenstance. Haha) and it's good. **

**Onward and upwards, loves.**

* * *

All eight of us perched on the edge of our seats.

11:58

"Alright, kids. I want a clean fight." Esme warned us all.

"A clean fight?" Edward's voice was laced with sarcasm "The woman that called the Volturi on us last year is looking for a clean fight. That's rich."

She frowned at us. "Very funny."

I heard the minuscule sound of the diode in the clock faltering, and I looked over at it.

11:59

The suspense was killing me!

OK, well, maybe not killing me, considering I was already dead and all. Edward had made good on his promise as I had made good on mine. I was a vampire, and I'd become his wife. After a few weeks of sulking around, he began to enjoy my change. Or at least parts of it.

Now, almost a year later, the vibrant red of my eyes had dulled, and was slowly being replaced by the shimmery yellow that matched those of my family. The color reminded me vividly of a new penny.

I sighed loudly and looked over at Edward. He was, undoubtedly, rifling through the thoughts of each and every one of his family members, trying to dig up any decent information on their plans. But, by the frustration evident on his beautiful face, he was coming up blank.

"I swear to god, Emmett, if I have to hear 'Barbie Girl' one more time, I will not hesitate to-"

"Ah ah ah!" Esme scolded, wagging a finger at him. "Play nice."

"Yeah, Eddie. Play nice." Emmett snickered. Edward let out a noise that reminded me of the sound you hear when the lightening is just overhead, and the thunder is shaking the foundation of the house. Emmett let out a shout of laugher before quieting again. Rosalie turned to him, her blonde hair making a curtain between the rest of the household and whatever it was she was whispering in Emmett's ear.

I watched a brightness dance in Emmett's golden eyes, which held my coppery ones intensely. I broke the stare and looked at Edward, concerned. He looked back at me and sighed.

"She's singing 'Freak On A Leash.'" He told me solemnly. I froze. Then he did too. "Emmett? Why 'Animals'? I think I preferred "Barbie Girl'."

"Oh shit." I sputtered. Nothing good could come of that. 'Freak On A Leash' was the song Rose played on full blast when she and Emmett were making some serious animal noises, if you catch my drift. And 'Animals' was Emmett's song of choice. I flinched at the possibilities.

My time to worry was cut short by the almost inaudible tick of the clock. The numbers changed, and the game was on.

Edward and I shot up the stairs like two bullets. Because I was still a newborn, I was just as speedy as he was. Emmett and Rosalie were steps behind. I heard the back door slam, and glanced out the window to see Jasper and Alice catapult into the woods. Carlisle and Esme had locked themselves in the kitchen and the study, respectively. Both were trying to protect what had been destroyed the year before.

I hopped onto the bed, bouncing on the golden comforter while we talked.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked, flying into the air again.

"I have a few ideas. Some of them revolve around you using your ability, though."

I sighed loudly. "Edward, you know I can't really control it yet. We could be in the middle of whatever we're doing, and I could lose it."

"I think that you can do it, Bella. Please, can we try? Please?"

I frowned at him. He was mocking my words of just over a year ago, when I had begged him to at least try to make love before I was changed. He caved. And now, I did too.

"Fine. We can try."

"That's my girl." He gathered me in for a kiss.

"Tsk tsk, Edward." I said, breaking off from him and walking toward the window. I could see the snowy peaks of the Rockies that Denali was infamous for. The beauty was still striking, no matter how often I looked. They reminded me of Edward.

"You know, Bella, once you can control that power of yours, you'll be using rather often." I nuzzled my neck from behind, his cold lips pressed against my own snowy cold skin. I rolled my eyes.

"Edward, focus. I know you were repressed for quite a long time, but seriously. Take it down a notch. Or six. Just for today." I added when he frowned. I slid out from under his hands and walked back towards the bed. "You know, we don't have a song yet."

"Of course we do, Bella. 'Truly Madly Deeply.' Remember? That was out first dance as husband and wife." He looked a little sad, as if I'd forgotten. I shook my head.

"Not that song, Edward. A song like Rose and Emmett have." I said. I'd gotten a little better at the whole "seductive" thing, but it still made me want to blush to hear Edward growl the way he did then.

"Anything in mind?" his cold breath was in my ear.

"Uhm…I was thinking something like Crawl Into Bed With Me." I said, my voice faltering with the intensity of the moment.

He chuckled softly, his breath on my shoulder. "I don't think so. Not quite the right message."

"The…The Bad Touch." I was beginning to have trouble making coherent sentences.

"I don't want to be laughing in a moment like that, Bella."

"Get Down Make Love?"

"Hmm, that's closer." He said into my ear.

"Ah, there it is." I turned to face him. He looked perplexed. "Closer. Nine Inch Nails?"

"Oh, I see. Yes, I think that one fits perfectly." He said before pulling me into an ice cold, yet somehow heated kiss. My brain was battling within itself, to break this off here, or finish what I had started. The little devil on my shoulder was starting to win the argument when I heard a deafening crash from the floor below. We broke apart, both panting in unnecessary breath.

"Well, that didn't sound good, now did it?" he asked me.

"No, not particularly."

"I'm going to go check it out. Stay here." He ordered. I cocked an eyebrow at him. "What?"

"If you don't recall, I don't have to be stashed away anymore, sir. I am, as a matter of fact, stronger than you at this very moment. And I believe that I can hold my own."

"Really? Well, then be my guest, love." Edward stepped back from the doorway and swept his hands towards the space, ushering me out the door.

I stepped into the hallway, and my senses instantly went into high alert. The silence was painful, and even my now graceful footsteps echoed around the hallway. I crept along the wall, lifting my legs high and crouching while treading only on my tip toes. Edward was suddenly behind me, laughing loudly.

"What the hell, Edward?" I looked at him. "I was trying to be stealth!"

"I'm sorry, but you should have seen how you were just walking. It was hilarious. I can't even describe-" his words were suddenly cut off, and he slammed into me, hard. So hard, in fact, that I put a Bella sized hole in the drywall of the hallway. I looked up at him, alarmed. He looked down at me, and before I could protest, his lips were on mine.

I sighed, kissing him back and waiting. When it didn't cease, I gently pushed on Edward's shoulder. When that didn't work, I pushed not so gently.

Now there was an Edward sized hole on the opposing wall. He took the three strides that were necessary to close the gap between us. I held out a hand, stiff arming him.

"Jasper, it'd be simply wonderful if you'd CUT THAT SHIT OUT!" I shouted down the stairs.

"Jasper's not here." Edward said, shaking his head back and forth. "He went into the woods with Alice, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. But if he's not here, what the heck was that?"

"I'm not sure." He looked confused. I just had an intense loving urge. I felt like I needed to be near you. Like I had to show you how much I loved you."

I sat for a moment. This all seemed a little too familiar. I'd felt the same thing once. The epiphany hit me like a bolt of lightening, and a smile spread across my face. Edward took a tad longer, but he go there too.

"No way." I said, running down the stairs as fast as I could, with Edward inches behind. I bounded to the front door and turned the handle to find a former Volturi member, and now vegetarian friend of ours.

"ALEJANDRO!" I squealed, then leapt to him. He pulled me into an Emmett style hug, spinning me around at a breakneck pace. When my feet finally settled on the ground, I turned back to Edward. He had a big smile on his face as he latched his hand with Alejandro's.

"It's good to see you. Please, come in!" He open the door and ushered him into the new house. After what had happened last year, we'd kept in touch with Alejandro, and quickly became great friends. He was one of the groomsmen in our wedding, and ended up going home with Tanya. She, along with the Cullen's, finally convinced him to change his old ways and become a vegetarian. His eyes were a shade redder than mine, as he slipped more often than I ever had, but they were slowly becoming the shade of ocher that I'd grown accustomed to.

"It's good to see you as well. How are things?" He asked politely. I smiled at him, knowing something was off.

"Wonderful, and you?"

"Things have been excellent. Tanya and I will be getting married at the end of the month, and I came to see if you all had received your invitations or not."

"Why yes, we did. And I would be honored to be a member of your wedding party, by the way." Edward said from beside me.

"Good." Alejandro looked as though he was stalling.

"So, why are you really here?" I asked after a long moment of not-exactly-comfortable silence.

"Am I not allowed to seek the simple pleasure of your company?" he scoffed, pretending to be offended.

"You drove all the way from Forks to have the pleasure of our company?" I asked, incredulous. The Denali clan had moved into our home in Forks, while we had moved into their home in the mountains.

"Yes."  
"No."

Alejandro and Edward spoke at the same time. I shook my head laughing.

"So, why are you hiding out here?" I asked him.

"I'm not! OK, well, maybe I am, but…" He sighed hugely. A thought that crossed his mind must have amused Edward, for he started laughing.

"Shut your mouth. It is NOT funny." Alejandro scowled at him.

"Oh, yes it is." Edward chuckled.

"What is? Edward, you know how annoying I think that is!" I was getting frustrated, being out of the loop.

"Would you like to tell her, or should I?" Edward looked at him.

"I will."

"Alright, then I'm going to go upstairs for a moment. Try to keep yourselves out of trouble." Edward said before sprinting up the staircase. I turned back to Alejandro expectantly. He stood silently.

"So…" I trailed off.

He sighed loudly again, then spoke in a quiet voice. "I'm scared."

I laughed loudly for a moment while he glowered. "You? Scared? Of what?"

"Well, Tanya tends to get into these holidays. It's REALLY intense in Forks right now. That house is probably already half destroyed." I laughed again. remembering what had happened at that house; holes in the drywall, holes in the glass, secret rooms, a pornography collage, an enormous bonfire with a bomb ignition. It wasn't the first time that house had been torn up, and I'm sure, when we got around to moving back to Forks, it wouldn't be the last.

After a little more hazing on Alejandro's behalf, I brought him to see Esme, who was still holed up in the kitchen. They exchanged pleasantries, but I could see that having the door open was making Esme very, very nervous. I shuffled Alejandro down the hallway to Carlisle, who greeted him politely, then began to brainstorm with him. I wanted to stay, as they had began discussing a plan that involved six gallons of petroleum jelly, an old tire, and a stapler, but a voice calling my name drew me from the room.

"Bella." The sound of Edward's voice was clear, even when he was speaking quietly. He sounded strained.

"What?" I called up the stairs to him.

"Oh, Bella." His voice was still quiet, but I was getting closer.

"Yes, Edward?"

"Bella!" His voice was louder, more urgent this time. Something foul was afoot.

"Edward? Where are you?" I yelled, walking up the stairs. A feeling of dread was leaking through my veins.

I heard nothing.

"Edward?! You're scaring me!"

Silence.

"Answer me!"

Again, nothing.

"EDWARD!"

"OH GOD! BELLA!" His cry echoed around the house, and I started running.

* * *

**Aw, lawd. What's going on with Edward?!**

**I guess you'll just have to come back and find out, won't you?**

**I've missed you guys, and I'm sorry this took so long. It's sorta been a shitty week for me, with funerals and getting yelled at for, like, no FUCKING REASON AT ALL, and getting my laptop taken away, ect. **

**I've got the link to this story's playlist in my profile. If you're looking for any of the songs I've mentioned, they're (probably) going to be on that list**

**I luff you all. Please review!**

**Random Song Choices**

Beg- Evans Blue  
Breathe You In- Thousand Foot Krutch  
Nothing Like You And I- The Perishers (I heard it on Greek, and fell in lurve)

**I love this song, like, a lot.  
**


	2. Near, Far, Where Ever You Are

_**DICLAIMER- I get to go to Barnes and Noble to read the first chapter of Breaking Dawn on May 31**__**st**__**, because I don't know what happens either.**_

_**-Audible sigh-**_

_**A/N- Well, here we go again. I'm sorry this is late, but I had better things to do, like got to the hospital and see my cousins new baby!! She's absolutely beautiful, and REALLY REALLY SMALL!! She's only 5.5lbs**_

_**I'd also like to say thank you to all of you that read July Fools Day. I just went over 20,000 hits. **_

_**Oh, by the way, anyone that was redfaced because of their dirty mind needn't be. You were right on the money.**_

_**-Devilish smile-**_

_**Ready Steady GO!**_

* * *

"_Edward?! You're scaring me!" _

_Silence. _

"_Answer me!" _

_Again, nothing._

"_EDWARD!"_

"_OH GOD! BELLA!" His cry echoed around the house, and I started running._

I ran toward the sound of his voice, fearful of what I would discover. I heard him say my name over and over, his velvet voice hoarse and rough. My heart, if it had still been beating, would have stopped by now. I searched for him, listening to his cries of odd anguish. I listened harded, and found something just the slightest bit off with his voice. I studied it in a anxious silence for another moment before it hit me.

I'd heard him use that tone before. It had echoed around our bedroom less than twenty four hours prior to this very moment.

It was his sex voice.

This brought me to quite the ultimatum. Either Edward had gone upstairs to "take care of business" on his own, or I was going to be having a _**SERIOUS**_ conversation with one of his sisters. I marched up the stairs to our bedroom and thudded loudly on the door. If he was alone, I didn't really feel like having to explain why I kicked down the door, ready to kick ass and take names.

My knocking echoed around the room, but no reply was received. I opened the door slowly, expecting to see something rather explicit. Instead, I saw nothing but our oak wardrobe and expansive, empty bed. I stood quietly, confused out of my mind.

Then, I heard his voice again. It was coming from the second floor, which could only mean one thing.

I thundered down the stairs to the second floor landing and braced my hands behind my back on the wall. I lifted my leg high, preparing to kick the door straight through the wall when I heard a soft sound.

"Edward." the voice murmured breathily.

It was a new voice.

It was a woman's voice.

It was _my _voice.

My foot slammed hard through the door, sending it careening dangerously into the room like a heavy wooden Frisbee.

Seated across from one another at the chess table were Emmett and Rosalie. Chuckling to each other, Rosalie opened her perfect mouth to speak. The voice that came out, however, surprised me.

"Bella! Don't stop. Oh, god Bella. Bella! BELLA!" She screamed, her voice a perfect rendition of Edward's.

If I could have blushed, there would not be a name to describe the color I would have been.

"Oh, Edward. EDWARD! Go…Oh…I…Ah…YES!" Emmett mimicked my howl to a T. The embarrassment that washed over me was almost painful in intensity.

Edward, who had heard Emmett's performace, came bounding up the stairs. "Bella? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing."

Emmett and I spoke at the same time, and with the same tenor. Edward looked confused for a moment, then burst into laughter.

"Edward! This is not funny!" I squealed at him.

"Sure it is, Bella. What did you think was happening?" Laughter still twinkled in his topaz eyes. I explained my theories to him and he exploded into laughter again. Rosalie, on the other hand, raised and eyebrow at me.

"Believe me Bella, if Edward was with me, it wouldn't be your name he was shouting."

Edward and I snarled at her, his bass to my soprano. She smiled innocently at him before returning her attention to me.

"_That_ was for my Jimmy Choo's." She said, stalking gracefully from the room with an eager Emmett on her heels. He'd been hanging on her every word since last year, when he'd lost his Xbox, bedroom, and shopping privileges for two months (she'd caved on the Xbox, annoyed with this whining). Emmett had been ensnared in Alice's dirty habit after being banned from sex, and bought rather frivolous things such as the chess table, which came about as a result of watching Harry Potter and the Sorcerers Stone one too many times and insisting on purchasing a Wizard Chess table. Because the pieces could not, in fact, destroy one another, Emmett took it upon himself to smash the lost pieces under his palm, sending granite shrapnel across the room. After 243 sets of chess pieces, Rosalie banned him from the mall.

He'd told me once though, that it had almost been worth it, because after those two months of abstinence, they'd spent the two months after that 'making up for lost time.' The longest hiatus they'd taken during that time period was an hour, in which they fed ravenously before holing themselves up in their room for another two weeks. The sounds that they insisted upon making were some of the loudest things that I could remember, especially because of my (at the time) newly developed super sensitive hearing.

As Emmett walked by, I couldn't resist hip checking him, hard. His enormous, rock solid body flew like a rag dolls, slamming into the wall so forcefully that the pictures hanging on the walls crashed to the floor and the window on the adjacent wall shattered. Rosalie turned on her heel, looked at Emmett, who was now shrugging bits of plaster from the wall off of this shoulders, rolled her eyes enormously, and walked from the room. Emmett sighed loudly and followed suit, but not before shooting me the darkest of looks he could muster. I smiled impishly at him, then turned to Edward. He looked wary.

"Bad move, love." He frowned

"Why?" I returned his sour expression. "I thought it was rather entertaining."

"You're not that much stronger than he his anymore, and doing things like that are going to come back to haunt you."

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"A lot of things flashed in his mind, but I caught the words "hogtied" and "iron smelter." He told me. I flinched, then straightened.

"Do I have reason to be concerned this year?" I asked, suddenly nervous. Emmett would be able to overpower me next year, that was for certain. I just had to hope that I'd have my power under control by then.

"No, I think that you're safe for now." He laughed and kissed the top of my head.

"Well, as long as we're safe, I think I have an idea for Jasper. He grinned widely at me, and we got to work.

An hour later, I was perched on the balcony outside of my bedroom, sobbing dryly and cradling my head in my hands. The sobs wretched hard, and a strangled groan escaped my lips. I heard footsteps, and I hoped that Alice hadn't alerted him to our plan before we could put it into action.

* * *

The door opened, then closed quietly, and Jasper stepped out onto the cool balcony. The view from the forth floor was exquisite, with the peaks of the mountains just barley exposing the rising sun, staining the sky pink. I sniffled, trying to make my crying as realistic as I could. Jasper came and settled cross-legged next to me on the frigid cement of the balcony.

"Bella, what's wrong." He said in a soothing voice.

"Nothing." I choked out, sniffling again.

"So you cry when nothing in wrong?" He asked me sarcastically. I frowned at him, then buried my face back into my hands.

"Shut up."

"Bella," His hand extended out towards me, patting me on the shoulder. I felt a wave of unnecessary happiness wash through me, and I flinched away, just as I'd planned to.

"Jasper, just go." I looked up at him an groaned. As I spoke, something in his face changed. He stood gracefully.

"Fine."

What happened next seemed to be in slow motion. As Jasper turned towards the door, Edward came charging in from the hallway an straight at our brother. Just as Edward should have connected with Jaspers midsection and sent him flying over the railing, Jasper took a quick step to the left, latched on to Edwards arm, and heaved him over the railing. I jumped up at vampire speed and leaned over the railing. As I bent over to see if Edward was alright, I felt, much to my chagrin, a hand wrap around my calf.

Before I could truly comprehend what was happening, I was plummeting towards the solid ground below.

I pare of granite arms caught me inches from the ground, then settled me to the grass. I glared up at a smug Jasper, who was now leaning over our railing, laughing to himself.

"I'm married to the mind reader." He chuckled at us. "You really thought she wouldn't see that?"

Suddenly, Edwards face broke into the grandest of grins.

"What is it?" I whispered.

"Just wait." Was all he replied.

Jasper continued to gloat shamelessly from his perch, laughing loudly at our foolishness. He was laughing so loudly, in fact, that he did not see Emmett creep up behind him, grab him by the waistband of his pants, and heave him over the edge and into the forest.

If I could have, I probably would have peed my pants from laughing so hard. Emmett smiled down at as and waved, dancing the cabbage patch. He also was so involved with his gloating that he did not notice tiny Alice until she was right behind him. He received a square kick in the chest, and soon joined us on the permafrost. Alice did a tiny twirl, then the moonwalk back into the bedroom. She was by my side a moment later, laughing in my ear.

"Every year, Jasper somehow gets launched off the roof, or through a window, or tossed from a moving vehicle." She informed me.

"Yes, he does." Edward laughed. "Do you remember, in 1965 when we threw him off of that train?"

Alice's tinkling laugh bounced around the trees. "Of course. Someone saw him, and we ended up having to move."

We sat in the grass, chatting quietly about things that had happened in the past. Edward's day spent clinging to the wing of a flying airplain, Emmett's climbing of the spike atop the Empire State Building, Alice's time trapped in an elevator shaft during a power outage, Jasper's bomb mishap that left their home in Winnipeg missing its roof, Carlisle's attempted murder by a jealous surgeon in Alpena, Michigan, Rosalie's fist fight with Kate Moss during a brief stint in England. Esme's story, however, was the most interesting.

"And then the boat sank. Just broke in half, just like that." Alice told me.

"And she was locked in that broom closet?" I asked, still in awe.

"Yep. She said the sound she'd heard when it broke in half was almost deafening."

"Wow. Who'd have thunk that Esme was the real Rose from Titanic?" I said quietly.

"Oh, you kids aren't telling that story again are you?" Esme walked out of the house, wiping her hands in a dishtowel.

"YOU were on the TITANIC?" I asked her. She nodded and smiled.

"Yes, I was. Although, I have to tell you, Carlisle is much better looking than that DeCaprio man was."

"But what about the woman that says that she really is Rose?" I asked. She laughed.

"I told her the story after it happened, adding in the death of my love for dramatic affect. And she just took my story and ran with it."

"And you let her?"

"I had to." She smiled sadly. "It wasn't as though I could prove that it had been me."

"Coughacceptforthe12caratjewelinyourchestupstairscough." Alice hinted unsubtly. Esme simply rolled her eyes and walked back inside.

"Wow. That's absolutely unbelievable. Out own Esme was Rose? How biz-" I was brought up short by the tiniest noise.

_Beep beep beep._

"I know! It's totally crazy! I mean…" Alice trailed off after looking at my face. "What?"

"Don't you hear that?" I asked them.

"No." Jasper said. "Hear what?"

_Beep beep beep._

"Aw. Our poor Bells has gone off the deep end." Emmett snickered.

"Shut up Emmett." I growled. "Listen! Don't you hear it?"

"No Bella, I don't hear anything. It's probably only you hearing it because of the fact that you are still considered a newborn." Edward said from next to me.

_Beep beep beep._

I frowned and stood, marching toward the sound. It seemed to intensify as I walked towards the woods, where I walked alone. When I reached the epicenter, the sound had become insistent. I looked to my feet, and found a fresh looking mound of dirt at my feet.

_Beep beep beep._

I bent over and started digging. The black dirt caked under my fingernails as I dug deeper into the earth.

_Beep beep beep._

I was three feet down now, and the sound was growing louder and louder.

_Beep beep beep._

Five feet down, my fingers struck something solid.

_Beep beep beep._

As I wrapped my fingers around the mystery object, I heard a scream that could have rocked the entire world. But it wasn't and of the boys. It wasn't Alice. And, shockingly enough, it was not Rosalie.

It was Esme.

She screamed again, and I took off from the forest as fast as my legs could take me.

_Beep beep beep._

* * *

**WTF? Esme?! NO!**

**I'll be seeing you. (Sounds creepy, doesn't it? Haha) Please take the poll. It's important, even if it doesn't make sense to you right now. **

**KayThanksILoveYouALotBye**

**Mici**

**RANDOM SONG CHOICES**

**God's Gonna Cut You Down - Johnny Cash  
****(No explanation necessary. It's Johnny Cash)**

**One Step Closer - Linkin Park  
****(Angry? This would be the perfect song to listen to)**

**A Favor House Atlantic - Coheed And Cambria  
****(Yeah, it's a little old. But still fantastic) **


	3. Closing Walls And Ticking Clocks

DISCLAIMER-

**Edward: So, why am I here again?**

Me: Because you're going to help me tell everyone.

**Edward: Tell them what, exactly?**

Me: That I own you now.

**Edward: -**_**Arches eyebrow and walks away-**_

Me: DAMNIT!

* * *

**A/N- You maybe, just maybe, will get the tiniest, teensiest little glimpse of Bella's power. Just maybe. If you're really good. **

**For fair warning, there's some harsher language ahead. I'm concerned that I might need to change this from T to M. **

**Thoughts?**

* * *

_As I wrapped my fingers around the mystery object, I heard a scream that could have rocked the entire world. But it wasn't and of the boys. It wasn't Alice. And, shockingly enough, it was not Rosalie._

_It was Esme._

_She screamed again, and I took off from the forest as fast as my legs could take me._

_Beep beep beep._

I sprinted toward the house, focused on nothing but getting there, not to sound of my feet hitting the ground, or the sound of my unnecessary breaths, or the sound of whatever it was that continued to beep obnoxiously in my fist.

I just ran.

As I got closer and closer to the house, however, the beeping became something I couldn't ignore. As I flung myself in the back door, the beeping was so bombastic and blaring that I couldn't block it out any longer. It was coming from everywhere. The beat was uneven, and beeps overlapped beeps. I ran to the kitchen, where I knew I would find Esme.

She stood, hands fisted in the hair on the sides of her head, screaming.

"Make it stop! MAKE THEM STOP!" She shouted at all of us. Edward was looking around, trying to find the source of the beeping, as was Jasper, Emmett, and Carlisle. Alice stood on the side of the room, out of the way, rubbing her temples and trying to see what she had missed. She frowned, apparently coming up blank. Esme screamed again, drawing my attention back to her.

"YOU! MAKE THE BEEPING STOP!" She pointed at my hand. Until then, I had forgotten that I was clutching whatever it was that I had dug up from the ground. I looked down, and it all became clear.

In my hand, cracking under the pressure of my straining hand, was a battery operated alarm clock. The alarm was going off insistently, unwilling to silence itself.

"MAKE IT STOP!" Carlisle yelled at me this time, trying to extract Esme's hands from her hair. Without a second thought, I flexed my hand, and the clock splintered into hundreds of pieces. A strangled, low bleeping noise wailed from the clock one last time, and then it was silent.

The problem was, at this very moment, one clock was not the problem. There were hundreds of clocks beeping around the room. They lined the counters and the floor. I waded though the sea of noise to the refrigerator, which seemed to be making an obscene amount of noise. I pulled the door open quickly, and found the fridge stocked to the brim with beeping alarm clocks.

In a split second, I made a decision. I tore the fridge from the wall, lifting it over my head and running straight at the wall. My solid body smashed through the wall and out the other side. Without looking back, I shot into the woods, hefting the bombastic refrigerator above my head. I ran what seemed like forty miles in under five minutes, and deposited the fridge next to a very surprised looking moose.

When I returned to the house, I found everyone in the kitchen grabbing as many clocks as they could and destroying them. Carlisle spiked them at the floor like footballs, while Emmett took the "roll-around-on-the-floor-and-squash-as-many-as-I-can" approach. Esme was no where to be seen, but as the sound of the clocks slowly diminished, I could hear her whimpering from the living room. I couldn't blame her. All of that beeping would have driven me nuts too.

Finally, almost an hour later, we swept the last of the clock pieces out into the yard. I sighed and brushed off my hands, considering the job to be done.

_Beep beep beep_

"Aw, NO FUCKING WAY!" Emmett shouted in exasperation. "NO MORE!"

"Emmett, if you'd kindly SHUT YOUR TRAP, we would be able to find it and silence it." Rosalie snapped at him. Emmett grumbled for another moment, then quieted. I could see no clocks visible, and I followed the noise out the kitchen door and into the dining room. I'd half expected to see another thousand clocks perched on the expansive table, but instead, I saw nothing. I listened harder, following the sound to the center of the room. I scanned all that I could see, but found no evidence of the chirping clock.

I decided to stand on the table, to see if I could get a better view of the room, aerial style. While I didn't see anything out of the ordinary, I did hear something new.

The beeping had grown softer the closer my head had gotten to the ceiling. I hopped down, and the sound got louder. I crouched, and it got louder still. I lied down on the floor, and pressed my ear to the wood.

Someone had implanted the clock under the floorboards.

I peeled back the wood, and found a plethora of clocks. Clocks that, as it turned out, all erupted at the very moment I peeled back the boards.

"TAKE CARE OF THIS!" I shouted to Emmett and Jasper. "I NEED TO GO HAVE A CHAT WITH SOMEONE!" I marched out of the room, and made a bee line for the third floor.

The door to Alice's bedroom was agape, but it still didn't stop me from slamming it against the wall.

"MARY ALICE BRANDON WHITLOCK CULLEN!" I screamed. "The LEAST you can do is help get rid of them!"

"And what exactly are you implying with that comment, Bella?" She asked innocently.

"Alice, I know it was you."

"Bella, I was with you when the clocks started going off. How could it have been me."

I glared at her. "Do you really think I'm that stupid, Alice?"

"What do you mean?"

"Alice, the entire purpose of an alarm clock is that it goes off without prompting."

"Well, how do you know Emmett didn't do it? This sounds like him." She still tried to play it off. I decided to come out with my big guns.

"Well, Alice, Emmett can't exactly see into the future to know the exact time I would pull back the floor board, now can he?"

"It could have been Jasper! You know how he is with his military precision and all." She said, looking panicky.

"I'll ask again, do you really think I'm that stupid? Oh, I'd suggest you answer this question with care, my dear, or your hair will be meeting the lawnmower." I dared her to lie to me.

"No." She mumbled, hanging her head.

"That's what I thought. Now, get to stepping, little missie." I said, lifting her off the bed and pushing her toward the door.

"You'll pay for this, Bella Cullen." She said as I frog marched her down the stairs to Esme.

"Speak." I commanded

"I'm not a DOG Bella." She snapped.

"Speak."

"Fine…I'msorryEsmeitwasmethatputallthoseclocksallovertheplace." She looked at me. "Can I be done now?"

"Yes." I released her and she stomped as loud as her tiny feet would allow back to her room.

Esme looked at me, then turned toward the dining room. "Edward! Come here for a moment, son."

Edward jogged from into the room at human pace, pulling an arm around my waist when he got to me.

"I need your help."

* * *

We stood in front of Alice's now locked bedroom door, looking at one another.

"Are you ready?" Esme asked me.

"I think so."

"You can do this. You can do this Bella. I believe in you." Edward's reassurance was comfort enough to pull out my courage.

"I'm ready." I told them.

"That's the spirit." He grinned his crooked grin. "Would you like to kick it, or should I?"

"May I?" Esme asked quietly.

"Be my guest." I said, stepping aside.

"Ready?" She asked, extending her hand to me.

"Ready." I replied, taking her hand in mine. As Esme planted her foot squarely in the center of Alice's door, I wrapped my fingers around Edward's. I heard the door slam into the wall for the umpteenth time today.

And then, the world stopped.

* * *

**Mhmm! That's all for now. **

**I've been a little busy, considering I've started a new book, but I'll try to get my shit together a little faster next time. Okiedokie?**

**Reviews would be super sweet. Please and thanks. **

**Iloveyouallalotkaythanksbye**

**Mici**

**Random Song Choices  
****Colors - Crossfade  
****All Around Me - Flyleaf  
****Stupid Girl - Cold**


	4. ONLY AN AUTHORS NOTE

**Authors note**

**OK, I know how much everyone hates these, but I'm only halfway done with the chapter, and I couldn't wait to say this. **

**The trailer is out, and it looks fan-fucking-tastic. **

**Seriously, when he smiles after "You really shouldn't have said that." I was almost in tears he's so sexy. **

**Oh, and I may be kicked off the computer for a while, due to a certain speeding ticket that I may have received…**

**-Grins sheepishly-**

**Iloveyouthanksofwastingyourtimewithmebye **

**Random Song Choices**

**Lexington - Chiodos**

**Brass Monkey - Beastie Boys**

**All The Same - The Sick Puppies**


	5. Picture's Frozen, And I Can't Get Out

**DISCLAIMER - **

**:Sigh: **

**Same shit, different day. **

**No, I don't own Twilight, or any of it's characters. **

**A/N- So, here it is! The big unveiling of Bella's power. I decided on it a long time ago, but it took me ages to figure out the logic behind it. (I mean like how Edward was supposed to be intuitive in his human life, and Jasper was charismatic enough to influence people to behave the way he wanted.) I like the reason I came up with, though. And it's true, which is a plus. Haha.**

**Oh, and for those of you that mentioned it, I got my whole 'ticket debacle' taken care of. Or mostly. YAY FOR TRAFFIC SCHOOL DURING THE WEEK OF FINALS!!**

**Kill me now.**

**Well, enough of my chit chat. Let's go!**

* * *

"_Ready?" She asked, extending her hand to me._

"_Ready." I replied, taking her hand in mine. As Esme planted her foot squarely in the center of Alice's door, I wrapped my fingers around Edward's. I heard the door slam into the wall for the umpteenth time today._

_And then, the world stopped._

I panted, my knees buckling under me from the raw power it took from me to do this. I looked around me.

It was like standing in a picture. Everything was completely and utterly still. Well, everything but Edward, Esme and I.

We weren't really sure how my power worked yet. So far, we knew I could stop time (after an unfortunate incident in which Rosalie hurled a pair of shoes at Edward's head. I held it long enough to push the shoes to the floor before collapsing on the floor.), slow time down (giving me the time to step out of the way before I was struck by a car on the freeway) and rewind certain moments (I had told Edward something and he reacted badly. Suddenly, it was the moment before I had told him, and he knew nothing.)

The best thing I could do, though, out of any of it, was go back in time and be a silent observer on my memories. Whenever I was feeling nostalgic (or overly emotional, as I couldn't control the power yet) I could go back in time and watched Edward and I get married over and over again. I could sit in Charlie's kitchen and see us talking about nothing at all. I could go and see Renee and myself as she walked me to dance class. It was a little like watching a movie, but one that you could never get tired of. I'd taken Edward to that day in the clearing once, that day he'd told me he'd fallen in love with me. He said he'd never seen anything cheesier or more exquisite in his entire existence. We'd recently began expirimenting with moving in to other peoples memories, hoping to, one day, break through the last of what was holding Alice.

I'd asked Carlisle why he thought that I could do something so extraordinary. He'd said something about me needing the extra time to protect myself, but I had a clearer picture.

In my life, I was prone to many life-altering, heart-pounding, time-halting moments. Learning Edward was a vampire. Falling in love with said vampire. Learning that Jacob was a wolf. Being hunted by an entire vampire army. Watching Victoria die. All of these moments seemed to tear a hole in the fabric of time, and I was privy to them all. And now, I could return to them as often as I pleased. Carlisle had told me that if I weren't on the side of good, I would be one of the most deadly forces to be reckoned with.

At the moment, however, I didn't particularly feel as though I was on the side of good. I was on the dark side, and to be truthful, it felt pretty damn satisfying.

I settled gently on the floor, watching as Esme extracted her hand from mine, and went to work. She walked over to Alice's expansive closet, immediately picking up the items that she knew were Alice's favorites. She then proceeded to rip open the small desk across the room and pull out a pair of scissors and hack large holes up and down the leather of her skirt.

In all of the stillness, I heard a whimper.

All eyes shot to Alice, who was frozen, perched on the edge of the bed, frowning. Or, mostly frozen, I should say.

On rare occasions, if the emotional reaction was strong enough, small parts of people could become unfrozen. Like now. Alice couldn't see anything about my future, but she could see hers. And it held a lot less of her favorite clothing.

I watched Alice's eyes move wildly about the room, and listened to the growling cries.

"This is for your own good." Edward chuckled as he ventured away from me and into her closet. I watched Alice appraisingly. Her eyes, which had been a pleasant taupe colors a few hours ago, we black as night, and I could see the storm brewing and cogs turning. A snarling snap ripped from inside her tiny body as she vibrated on the bed. My effects were wearing off.

"OK, guys. I think we'd better hurry it up." I said, my voice hinting the slightest bit of frantic terror.

"Why?" Edward called from the bowels of the closet.

"Because she's breaking out." I said, watching her arm twitch. "Like, right now."

"Alright, just another moment." Esme called sweetly.

I watched Alice's entire arm break free. It pointed at me, then drew a slow line across her still frozen neck.

"No, NOW!" I yelled. Edward ran from the closet, dragging a disappointed looking Esme.

"But I wanted to get that little black sweater she wore last we-" She stopped when she saw Alice's flailing arm. "Well, that's not good."

"No, no it's not." Edward said solemnly as he pulled us out of the room.

"Alright then, I think our best bet will be for everyone to head in different directions. Edward, you go into the woods. Bella, I want you to go into the mountains. As far as you can. Understood?" Esme said to Edward and I before grabbing onto my hand.

"Ready?" Edward asked me, wrapping his fingers around mine.

"WAIT!" Esme shouted. I have an idea."

Five minutes later, we had carted the other kids board stiff bodies into the living room in a circle. Emmett was mid-laugh, and Rosalie had a hammer lifted high above her head. Jasper was frozen in the sitting down position, clutching what looked to be a pipe bomb.

"OK, on three. One, Two, Three!" I called, standing behind Emmett's frozen form. On three, Esme, Edward, and I yanked down a different family members pants. Jasper's were a little tougher, but Esme wiggled them off of his stiff body and tossed them to Edward. He promptly slid them on to Rosalie, who's skin tight jeans were now in my hands, sliding up Emmett's legs. We all stepped back and admired our work.

"Okay, now I'm ready." Esme laughed, grabbing on to my hand again.

"Ready Eddie?" I laughed as his face contorted in disgust.

"Bella." He reprimanded. "You know how much I absolutely detest that name."

"Yes, but I also know that, if I really wanted to, I could leave you frozen here when I bring it all back. And you'd have to face the wrath of Alice all alone." I grinned. Another one of those odd rules that went along with my power was that if I brought someone in with me, or was taking them out, I had to be touching them. We'd found that out the hard way after Emmett was stuck, completely and utterly frozen, for three days while I tried to teach myself to unfreeze him. Needless to say, Rosalie was not very happy with me.

"Yes, I do know that." Edward frowned.

"Don't worry, love." I said. "I'd never leave you frozen in time on purpose."

He smiled and grabbed on to my free hand.

"OK, here we go!" I said, squeezing their hands hard as I mustered the energy it took to fix the hole in time I'd created. I heard the whirring noise in my ears, like a I was in the eye of a tornado. Then, as soon as the noise started, it stopped, and a new noise began.

"What the hell?"  
"OHMYGOD!"  
"What's going-. Hey look Rose! I'm in your pants!" Of course Emmett would find light in the situation. The Cullen clan often hated when they realized that I had been going about things without them. Rosalie's hand shot out and clipped the back of his head, and I thought I heard her murmur something resembling "dumbass."

"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Jasper was suddenly yelling in our faces. "WHAT HAPPENED? WHY IS ALICE…" His voice trailed off.

"It's nothing. We were just-" I started to tell Jasper.

He looked down at me in sudden horror. "Run."

"What? Why?" I asked, confused. Edward, however had a look of pure terror on his face and was dragging me toward the door.

"RUN!" Jasper screamed at me. But his scream was overlapped my a greater one. An elephant herd one hundred strong could not make a sound as loud as this one. I whirled in place and ran towards the mountains.

* * *

I sat at the peak of Denali, tapping my fingers on my knee. It had been two whole hours, and she still hadn't come for me. I had just gotten up to go back when I smelled something. It was one of us.

This smell, however, did not strike terror in my heart. But, that's probably because it was Edward that I was smelling.

"Well, hello there." He said as he hopped up the last 10 feet of mountain to reach me. "You seem to still be alive, so to speak."

"Yes, very much so. And, I also happen to be painfully bored. Do you think it's safe to go back now?"

"I hope so. I'm bored as well." He sighed.

"Well, that settles it then. Let's go."

We traced back down the mountain, heading straight for the house. I listened intently, but heard nothing but the occasional elk.

"I know how overused this is, but it's quiet…"

"Too quiet. I agree." Edward said, finishing my thought.

"What do you think could be going on?" I whispered now.

"I have no idea. I'm going to go snoop around. Don't go too far."

"Well, don't worry master. My leash isn't very long anyway." I snapped.

"I'm sorry Bella, but I'm afraid that Alice may actually be planning to kill you."

"Fine. Whatever. Just go." I frowned at him. The kiss he gave me was anything but chaste, not that I minded. After a quick smile, he jogged at a human's pace **(A/N- This moment, right here, is for all of you that thought that Edward jogging at human speed sounded amazing. Since I'm sure you enjoy it last chapter as much as I did, there it is again.) **around to the front of the house. As soon as he was out of view, Brave Bella decided to make an appearance. She moved my legs, taking me to the nearest window. I peered into the living room to see Rosalie and Emmett conspiring, their heads close together. Jasper was tearing the cushions off the couch, then lifting it to look beneath. Nothing of real consequence was going on here, so I moved to the next window.

"Yahtzee." I said under my breath, then rolled my eyes at my own stupidity. _Yahtzee? Really Bella? _

On the other side of the glass, in Carlisle's dark study, stood Alice and Alejandro. She was whispering in his ear, clearly plotting my demise. But there was one thing she didn't know I had against her. One thing that I had nicked. The very thing that Jasper was rifling through the couch to find at that very moment.

I reached around my back slowly, letting my fingers wrap around the cold metal rod that stuck out of my back pocket, and I smiled.

A pipe bomb. Oh, how possibilities are endless.

* * *

**What's Alice doing with Alejandro? What's Bella's plan for the pipe bomb? Why am I speaking in only questions?**

**Who knows?**

**Oh, wait. I do…**

**Haha. **

**Reviews would be superbly lovely. Much thanks. **

**Mici**

**Random Songs  
****Seein' Red - The Used (I sort of love The Used.)  
Sex and Candy - Marcy Playground ( Gotta love the 90's)  
****Down With The Sickness - Disturbed (For fair warning, this song has some seriously messed up shit in it. But I love it anyways.)**


	6. You 'N' Me Baby Ain't Nothin But Mammals

**DICLAIMER- The only thing I own in this whole story is Alejandro. And no, you may not have him. **

**A/N- Alright. We're almost to the turning point. It's getting close, and it's a doozy. But, not quiet yet. This is sort of a filler chapter, but you know what that means. Little, silly pranks. **

**YAY!**

**-Drains all creativity into chapter-**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_I reached around my back slowly, letting my fingers wrap around the cold metal rod that stuck out of my back pocket, and I smiled._

_A pipe bomb. Oh, how possibilities are endless._

I flipped the steel tube over in my hand a few times before sliding it up the back of my shirt, pinning it between my spine and the back of my bra under my shirt. It was an accident waiting to happen, I was sure of it, but it was the best option for now. I ran back to where I told Edward I would wait, and watched for him to return.

After a few minutes, his bronze head poked around the corner. "The coast seems clear."

I followed him back to the door and stepped inside, instantly wary. I watched for a guiateen's blade to slide from the ceiling, or an angry bull to charge from the kitchen towards me. I heard, oddly, a sawing sound, but other than that, nothing was out of the ordinary. Alice and her trickery where no where to be seen.

Emmett, however, was standing out in the open with a massive smile on his face. I eyed him with suspicion.

"Hey Bella! Edward! What's going on man?"

"Hello Emmett." Edward said, and I knew he was smiling even though he was standing behind me.

"Hey, Em. How have things been here?"

"Oh, well, they were a little crazy for a while, and then Alice just sort of disappeared. But, it gave me a little time to do something of my own."

"And that would be?" I asked.

"EMMETT!" Carlisle's voice shook the glass in the windows as he marched down the staircase. In his hand, hanging by its tail, was a baby crocodile. "Care to explain this, son?"

"What do you mean, Carlisle? I haven't done anything." Emmett grinned impishly.

"Really? Then why do I have a couple thousand reptiles teaming in my office?"

"I've got no idea." He said, mockingly unaware. "But whoever did that should be punished."

"I'll show you punished." Carlisle tossed the crocodile at Emmett before stomping back up the stairs. Emmett and Edward laughed with each other.

"I don't see what the problem is. It's like a free meal, isn't it?" I asked.

"No. We can't drink cold blooded animals."

"Why hasn't anyone ever told me this? And what happens if we do?"

"You don't want to know." Emmett said, shaking his head. Edward laughed at him for a moment, then suddenly froze.

Great. You know what that means.

"Bella." he whispered in my ear. "We're going to need to take a few steps back."

I obliged willingly, waiting for the unforeseen danger.

But all I saw was Carlisle, making his way back down the staircase. Edward squinted, listening to his thoughts again. He shifted uncomfortably and slid so his body was halfway behind mine.

"Edward? Are you…are you hiding behind me?" I asked, in utter awe.

"Yes." He sounded ashamed. "But I know that Carlisle won't do what he's about to do to Emmett to you. He can't."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Uhm…Can you just watch? I'd really rather not explain."

So I did. I watched as Carlisle approached a still grinning Emmett. I watched as he silently slipped a syringe from his back pocket and dipped the needle in an unknown substance.

I watched as Carlisle pulled his arm from behind his back and stabbed Emmett right in the crotch with the needle. Emmett stood frozen, in full on shock at what had just transpired. Then, suddenly, he grabbed his package and started yelling unintelligible things. Carlisle smiled, satisfied, then turned to us. I felt Edward tremble behind my back as I shot Carlisle an inquisitive look.

"I don't know if I've ever told you this. Did you know that vampire skin is like a diamond. The only things that can cut diamond is diamond. The only thing that can cut vampire skin is-"

"Venom." I said, my eyes widening in shock. "You injected him with venom?"

Carlisle laughed heartily, overpowering Emmett's whimpers. "No, no, no. I simply coated the needle with venom. I injected him with Novocain."

"Novocain? As in the numbing agent Novocain?"

"Precisely. That syringe had enough in it to kill an elephant, so it should put 'Little Emmett' out of commission for around a week." Carlisle told me. I felt Edward shudder behind me. No wonder he had hid.

Emmett had finally stopped yelling from the burning of the venom. Now he was yelling about something else.

"YOU INJECTED MY…MY…"

"Your what?" Carlisle smiled vindictively. He wanted to hear him say it.

"YOU STABBED ME IN THE WEINER WITH NOVOCAIN!?" Emmett didn't even sound like himself anymore. He sounded more like the devil, his voice ripping in different octaves at the same time. It may have been the most horrifying sound I'd ever heard. The problem was, the word wiener makes me giggle. Always. I can't help it, and never could. So, no mater how hard I tried to suppress it, squash it down back to where only I could hear it, a tiny, snorting giggle slipped out of my control. Emmett's withering glare snapped from Carlisle to me.

"You think this is funny? WELL? DO YOU?" He shouted at me.

"Alright Emmett, that's enough." Edward said, stepping out from behind me and into the line of fire. "You can't really be angry with her. She didn't do anything. And besides, the word wiener is humorous. You can't deny that."

"Yeah, well, we'll see how humorous it is when YOU get stabbed in the junk." Emmett pouted now, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes narrowed at me for only a second, then went back to Carlisle. "It is SO on." He said to him.

"Go for it. I am the Alpha and Omega of this house." Carlisle challenged.

"I'm not liking where this is going." Edward said to me, gently pushing me towards the door. I followed him into the hallway, and was greeted by a smiling Alice. A shiver shot down my spine as I looked her over. Nothing threatening was apparent, so I decided to try and heal the rift.

"Hi Alice." I smiled at her.

"Hello Bella." She smiled back, but not in the same way. Something was behind this smile. Something sinister. "So, what's going on in there?" She asked sweetly.

"Emmett can't feel his penis."

Her brow furrowed. "And you know this because…?" She asked me.

"Carlisle shot him with Novocain." Edward explained for me.

"Ah." She chuckled. "Leave it to Carlisle to go all Doctor Kevorkian on his ass." **(A/N-For anyone that doesn't know who Kevorkian is, he used to help people commit suicide by injecting them with drugs. I figured that Emmett's junk seems to be his livelyhood, so doing this was close enough to murder for him. Haha)**

Edward nodded in agreement. "He does something more and more surprising every year."

"That he does." She said, her eyes still trained on me. Her stare made me squirm, while Edward was totally still beside me.

"Alice?"

"Yes brother."

"Any reason you're singing that song?"

She turned and walked away, but not before turning her head and speaking over her shoulder. "There's always a reason."

He sucked in a breath and frowned.

"What song was it?" I asked quietly.

"It's by the Plain White T's. You got her the CD."

My brain rifled through all of the songs on the CD, then skittered to a stop on one. One of Alice's favorites started playing in my mind.

_By now you should know everything you say  
Can and will be used against you some day  
I got the microphone so don't go too far  
Cause I'm gonna tell the whole world how you really are  
I don't even care how you're gonna feel  
Cause I've already tried to give you something real  
So go ahead and get mad never talk to me again  
I don't even care cause I got my  
Revenge  
Revenge  
Revenge  
Got my revenge _

I flinched. "It wouldn't happen to be 'Revenge' would it?" I asked him.

"Precisely."

"Ouch. That can't be good."

"I highly doubt it." He said, leading me back into the living room.

"Edward? Bella?" I heard Esme's voice calling to us.

"Yes mother?" Edward called back.

"There's no need to shout. I'm right here." She said. We both looked around quickly.

"Well, unless you've become invisible in the last two hours, I'm not sure as to where you might be." Edward replied.

"Yes Edward. You've got it. After almost 90 years, I've finally discovered my power. I can become invisible." She said sarcastically. "Look up."

At the same time, Edward and I tilted our heads back to see Esme super glued to the ceiling. I looked down quickly, trying to suppress my laughter.

"It's alright." I heard her voice from above me. "It is a little bit funny. You may laugh."

I looked up at her, shaking my head and smiling. "So, what can we do for you?"

"For starters, you could get me off the ceiling." She laughed. Edward and I reached up, pulling on her arms until she fell, attached to a massive chunk of plaster. As the plaster fell, I heard an odd whooshing sound, followed by a horrendous smell. I was instantly soaked in what I now, as a vampire, knew to be animal pheromones.

All was silent for a full minute. No one moved. No one breathed. No one blinked. And then I heard it.

"Bahahaha. AHAHAHAHA!" Alice's tinkling laugher exploded around us. Edward and I (Esme was still face down on the floor under a mountain of plaster) swiveled our heads toward the sound. Alice was doubled over, screaming with laugher. Jasper stood next to her, shaking hard, but not breathing. But, that was probably because we smelled like a hundred different kinds of urine.

"I'dhahahasuggesthahahathathahayouhaharun. Every animal ahahaha within a hahaha hundred mile ahaha radius is coming to hump you ahahhahahaha." She struggled to get her message across. But, it came through loud and clear when a moose came plowing through the back door, aimed directly at us. Edward and I jumped apart, and the moose hauled through the space where we'd just been standing.

Edward laughed hard as he picked me up and headed toward the staircase. But, before he got there, he veered off and ran out the back door. I looked at him in shock as he tossed me into the air and darted back toward the house before I had even landed. I landed hard on my butt, and the unnecessary air in my lungs whooshed out. I sat back against a rock in shock. I heard a metallic tink noise and froze.

I sat back up slowly, sliding the bomb out from under my shirt. I examined it, turning it over in my hands.

If Edward wanted to fight dirty, I'd fight dirty.

* * *

I stood at the top of the mountain, lighter in one hand, bomb in the other. I stuck the bottom half of the pipe in the snow, and lit the long, curled fuse.

I didn't wait around to see what happened. I knew what would happen.

When I reached the bottom of the mountain a moment later, I stopped and turned, waiting for the bomb to go off.

"5...4...3...2...1" I whispered to myself as I watched the fireball plume at the top of the mountain. I waited, hoping my plan would work.

And it did.

I watched a massive slate of snow shift, then begin to slid down the mountain. It thundered toward me at a breakneck pace, ice balls the size of a Volkswagen destroying everything in their paths. I screamed toward the house, and Edward sprinted out, leaving the door agape.

W

When he reached me, I grabbed on to his waist and heaved him as high as I could into the air. Then, I darted back into the house and slammed the door.

Seconds later, the wall of white slammed into the house, burying it to its roof.

* * *

**WHEW! That was quite the finger workout. Haha. **

**And before you all freak the hell out, EDWARD'S A VAMPIRE! Being buried in snow is NOT going to maim or kill him. So chillax. Please. **

**And just to keep you all on the edge of your seats, here's a tidbit of the next chapter. Just the tiniest taste though. Don't get too excited. **

_I heard a loud banging noise from upstairs, and I went to investigate. I climbed the ladder to the attic, watching as someone punched a hole in the roof, trying to get inside. _

"_Edward, I hope you're not too mad at me. I mean, you did leave me out in the woods and all. And I mean, it's all in fun, right?" I waited for an answer. It never came. "Right?"_

_A sound came through the hole. It was one that sent a chill down my already frozen spine. And I knew we were doomed._

"_Not Edward." The smooth voice mocked. _

**AHH!!**

**Ok. All done. **

**The more you review, the faster I tend to work. I'm just saying…**

**Haha**

**Kaythanksbye**

**RANDOM SONG CHOICE-**

**Rise Above This - Seether (For when you're happy)  
****Falls Apart - Thousand Foot Krutch (For when you're not)  
Pretty Handsome Awkward - The Used (If you want my advice, you should probably just go out and buy 'Lies For The Liars', cause it is seriously boss. No joke)****  
****What It Is To Burn - Finch (If you use the play list to listen to the songs, it's on there under The Queen and I by the Gym Class Heros. I just happened to be looking up The Queen and I, and I found Finch instead. It was sort of like finding a twenty dollar bill in your coat at the beginning of winter. Haha)**


	7. Violently It Changes

**DISCLAIMER- No, I don't own Twilight. Not that anyone thinks that I do. **

**Gah that's so obnoxious. **

**A/N- Aright kids. This is it. As you may have noticed, the story's description has changed from humor to humor/horror. That's because we've gotten to the twist. I know twists are supposed to be shocking, but this is the main vein of the story, so you'll just have to deal. Besides, you must have read July Fools Day to understand this, so you know that's how the story works. **

**I hope you're ready, cause this whole thing may end badly (I haven't quite decided yet). **

**And so it starts…**

* * *

_When he reached me, I grabbed on to his waist and heaved him as high as I could into the air. Then, I darted back into the house and slammed the door. _

_Seconds later, the wall of white slammed into the house, burying it to its roof. _

Everyone rushed toward the center of the house. Some, such as Esme and Carlisle, looked worried, while others, Alice and Emmett were grinning like Cheshire Cats.

"An avalanche? What in the world…" Esme sounded perplexed, staring at the wall of snow that had engulfed the house. Alice let out a snorting giggle, earning a look from everyone.

The look I shot Alice was a little different than everyone elses. It was more of a 'DON'T YOU DARE' type look than everyone else's 'What the hell is she laughing about now?' look.

Alice simply shook her head at them and nodded at me, selling me up the river. I frowned as they all turned to me.

"You started the avalanche?" Carlisle asked in shock.

"I did." I said, looking down at my shoes. When I looked back up, I sa Alejandro, fear in his eyes.

"And I thought I'd be safe here…" He muttered quietly.

"Ah, Bella. The student has become the teacher." Emmett laughed as he lifted me into a hug.

"That's not exactly something to aspire to." Rosalie rolled her eyes. "And where the hell is Edward?"

"Uhmm…" I look anywhere but at Esme when I told them. "He's outside."

"He's what?" Emmett asked in surprise.

"Well, he threw me outside after Alice covered us in pheromones, so I got him outside just before the avalanche hit and I threw him into the air. He's buried out there somewhere." I held my breath while I waited for Esme and Carlisle's reaction. After an eternity, I looked up.

Esme was biting hard on her granite lip, shaking. At first, I thought she was crying. But, after a moment of observation, she couldn't hold it any longer. She released the biggest belly laugh I'd ever heard.

"Only you, Bella, could trick the Great Edward like that." She said through her laughter. The rest of the family joined her, with exception to one.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, Jazz."

"Please, PLEASE, tell me that you didn't use my bomb for that."

"Jasper, you know how bad I always was at lying." I said.

"Aw, Bella!" He whined. "I had such a cool idea for that."

"Cooler than an avalanche?" Emmett said before I could reply.

"Well," A smile spread to his lips. "I guess not."

"I'm going to go take a shower, considering I still smell like a port-o-potty and all." I told them before walking up the stairs.

When I reached the fourth floor, I was consumed by the smell of blood. And when I opened the bedroom door, I understood why.

The moose that had charged Edward and I was now standing in the middle of our room, munching on the corner of our comforter. It turned to look at me with lust filled eyes.

"Alice." I muttered as the moose charged me again. I shot down the stairs, the moose only inches behind.

Then, that little light bulb lit up over my head.

I darted into Alice and Jasper's room and headed straight for the closet. I turned and faced the moose, jumping over its head when it reached me. Before it had the chance to turn around, I slammed the door to the closet and pushed the bed in front of it.

"Take that." I smiled to myself before heading back upstairs to my shower.

Unfortunately, Alice had gotten to the pipes to my room at some point, and when I turned my spout on, more of the noxious stench flowed around the room. I grabbed my towel harshly and stomped down the stairs, slamming Alice's bathroom door and starting the water. I knew she'd never tamper with her own shower, and I hopped under the hot spray.

The time I spent in the shower only gave me time to think. And regret. I hadn't heard Edward return yet, and it was starting to make me nervous. He wouldn't be mad at me, would he? I mean, sure, I abandoned him after tricking him into being buried in an avalanche. But the rule was you couldn't get mad, right?

I stepped out of the shower and changed quickly into clean clothes before I started pacing. I was getting more anxious. I decided to go downstairs, hoping that the others could ease my discontent.

Emmett was lounging on the couch, drumming his fingers on his knee, as position I'd come to know as Emmett thinking. I stepped past him and over to Esme, who was chatting with Alejandro.

"…And then, floating on the ballroom door, I let go of the hand of my first love, Jack." She said wistfully.

"That truly is one of the most romantic things I've ever-" He stopped talking abruptly, lifting his nose in the air.

"The National Park Service is here." He told us. "I can smell the St. Bernards."

I watched Emmett perk up out of the corner of my eye, and Esme shot him a dirty look.

"No, Emmett, you may not steal one of the dogs. They'd notice it went missing." she scolded.

He frowned deeply. "Aw, man. You're worse than Edward. At least I can just ignore him."

"They're probably going to break a hole in the roof to see if anyone's in here." Alejandro told us.

I heard a loud banging noise from upstairs, and I went to investigate. I climbed the ladder to the attic, watching as someone punched a hole in the roof, trying to get inside.

"Edward, I hope you're not too mad at me. I mean, you did leave me out in the woods and all. And I mean, it's all in fun, right?" I waited for an answer. It never came. "Right?"

A sound came through the hole. It was one that sent a chill down my already frozen spine. And I knew we were doomed.

"Not Edward." The smooth voice mocked.

One by one, as I looked on in horror, the entire Quilute wolf pack dropped through the opening.

"W…What…What are you doing here?" I sputtered.

They fell into formation, Jacob and Sam standing side by side at the front.

"Don't you remember, Bella?" Jacob sneered, his face a hard mask. "I told the leech that day on your lawn. The treaty knows no distance. We've come to do our jobs as protectors."

I felt a wave of calm pour over the room as Jasper stepped in, followed by Carlisle, Alejandro, then Emmett. I suspected that they had forced the girls to stay somewhere else, or better yet, hide. All of the laughter was gone from Emmett's eyes, replaced with loathing that could have made the bravest of men quake in his presence. Unfortunately, we were not dealing with the ordinary man.

"What is the meaning of this visit?" Carlisle asked, his tone careful.

"As I was just explaining to Bella, the treaty has been broken. It's void. And now, nature is going to take its course."

Carlisle opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it. "Excuse me, Jacob, but I do believe that you broke the treaty long before we did." I watched him cringe as I referred to the vampires as _we. _A shiver shot down his spine, vibrating his entire body for a moment before he suppressed it.

"It isn't an eye for an eye." He snarled.

"Jake, when you told me about the Cullens, you could have gotten them all killed. And yourself. You could have gotten _me_ killed. And you get to go unpunished. I finally get something I've been wanting for years, something that made me the happiest I'd ever been. And you think it's fair to kill us for it?"

He shook again, harder this time. "All I needed was more time to convince you. You joined a pack of killers."

My anger boiled past Jasper's control. "Well, Jacob, I'd like to tell you a little story. It's about a pot and a kettle." I snapped viciously.

"We are not killers. We're simply doing what we were made for." He replied ruthlessly.

"And that is? You could be out hunting horrible, murderous vampires. Ones that are killing innocent people. But instead, you trekked your asses all the way up to ALASKA to kill the only handful of vampires that aren't looking to drink human blood. Well, it sounds like you've all thought this plan out really well, Jacob. Congratulations." My biting sarcasm sent a tremor down Paul's spine this time as well.

"Bella. Enough." Carlisle said, reigning me in. "We'd like to ask that you leave us be. We have not harmed a single human in years. Bella has still never tasted human blood."

"That doesn't matter." Sam spoke now. "You broke the treaty. 'No biting humans' was one of the only guidelines, and you felt the need to overstep."

"Sam," I said, drawing his attention to me. His eyes were filled with hate as I spoke. "What would you do if you were in this situation. What if Emily-"

"Don't say her name, leech." He snapped darkly.

"I'll say what I please, dog. What would you do if Emily were a vampire," He shook hard and snapped his eyes closed, trying to stay in control. "And you were a human. If you could spend forever with her, and all it took was one bite. What would you do?"

"I would find another option."

"There was no other option, Sam." I said, quieter now.

"You had another option." He waved a hand in Jacob's direction. "He was willing to give up everything for you."

"Yeah, and I'm sure it would have stayed that way right up until the day he imprinted. Then where would I be?"

"Alone. And alive." He replied shortly.

"And you think that it's better that I died all by myself and miserable, when I had the option of true, blindingly powerful love?"

"At least then you would die."

Now it was my turn to shake. The anger that racked my body was threatening to burst forth and kill him. My mouth flooded with venom and I pinched my eyes closed. When I'd finally regained my composure, I looked up. Sam was now looking back at the pack, whispering orders in a language I'd never heard. Jacob, on the other hand, was staring right at me.

"Bella." Was all he said, sounding wistful and pained.

"I'm the same, Jake. I'm the same girl you taught to ride a motorcycle. The same girl you told your stories to. The same girl that you said that you loved. How could you do this?" I said, my voice quiet.

He looked at me, taking me in before looking me in the eye. His body stiffened suddenly, then shook. His jaw clenched, and he spoke through his teeth. "You're not the same."

"Just because my eyes are a different color doesn't mean that I'm not the same person inside. You know that."

"You're not the same." He repeated before turning to Sam and the pack. "We need to discuss the plan. The rest of you stay here and make sure that they don't go anywhere. And you." He pointed at Leah and Seth. "Go find the others. Three females and a male."

I froze when I thought of Edward, still buried in the snow somewhere. I reached up, grabbing on to a beam from the ceiling to support myself as I watched Sam and Jacob climb back out into the snow. Leah and Seth began walking toward to attic door to find the others. I held my breath and closed my eyes as they passed, trying to suppress my anger. As Leah walked by, she hit her shoulder against mine, hard and on purpose. I felt the beam splinter in my fist as I tried to keep from attacking her. I looked back over that the pack.

They all stared back with ruthless grins on their faces, but the one that caught my eye was Paul. His eyes glinted especially bright as he spoke.

"I should have just killed you that day on the road."

"I was just thinking of that, mutt. Say, have you found a bitch to keep you reigned in yet?" I said before my brain could halt my mouth.

A deafening roar ripped from his lips as he shook like his own personal earthquake. The tearing sound that I'd grown to fear in my human life echoed around the attic, and a silver wolf barreled past his brothers to kill me.

* * *

**OK, so, I told you that it was going to change. And it did. **

**Also, a new poll is up. And it's important, so vote please and thanks. **

**And reviews would be pretty sweet too, if you don't mind. **

**And, because you're so good, I'll give you another snippet. This time, it's Edward's point of view.**

_Finally, after what felt like endless digging, I broke the surface of the ice and snow. I heaved myself from the deep freeze and smiled. Bella was more clever than I'd ever given her credit for. _

_I inhaled deeply, expecting the cool mountain air, the freshness that only an avalanche can provide. But I found something much different. Something much more terrible. Something that had me running toward the house fast then I'd ever ran._

_Werewolf._

**Hmm. Maybe the next chapter should be entirely from Edward's POV. Thoughts?**

**RANDOM SONG CHOICES**

**Blue And Yellow - The Used  
****I'll Keep Your Memory Vague - Finger Eleven**

**And I know how weird this is going to sound, but…**

**I'll Make Love To You - Boys II Men  
****Just find some friends that know the words, roll down the windows, and belt it out to people that pass by you. But, make sure you pee first, because it's hilarious. **

**Especially when they sing it back. **


	8. ANOTHER AN PLEASE DON'T HURT ME

**I know, I know. **

**I'm sure most of you are sitting there going, "DOOD! You'd better be kidding!"**

**But, alas, I am not. **

**Before you all spaz, I AM NOT ENDING, HIATUSING (is that even a word? Spell check didn't freak out on it, but I'm still not sure...), OR SLOWING NEXT JULY FOOLS DAY!! **

**I've just been having an issue. And it is this.**

**I've wanted to write an all human story for a while now, and I've basically just been letting the ideas rot in the back of my mind. Eventually, though, they started to take up too much space back there, and they've been clogging up the other ideas. **

**So I decided to release them into a new story, called "And The World Spins Madly On." I just sat down and started typing, and two hours later, I had nine pages of what I think in the good start to a story. If you're not a fan of all human stories, then I'd suggest avoiding it. If you do like them, I'd really love if you gave it a shot. It'll be lemony in places, so if you can't handle that, you may not want to check it out. **

**OK, now you can yell at me for posting just an authors note.**

**-Curls into the fetal position-**

**No kicking of the head or kidneys, please. **

**RANDOM SONGS (LOOK! I EVEN GAVE YOU FIVE SONGS THIS TIME!)  
****Steal My Sunshine - LEN  
****The Bird And The Worm - The Used  
****Car Underwater - Armor For Sleep  
****Bodies - Drowning Pool  
****Wake The Dead - The Used**


	9. Cannot Kill What You Did Not Create

**DICLAIMER- Still not mine. **

**A/N- See? I told you I wouldn't neglect this story. Haha**

**Two things to say**

**I'm now officially stalking Michael Cera, as he is in the town adjacent to mine shooting his newest movie. My friend met him while he was working at the grocery store. He says that he's nice, but pretty shy. **

**And that he bought a salad. Haha**

**You'll have to wait for the bottom A/N to read the other thing I had to say, but it is Twilight related, and if I do say so myself, TOTALLY BADASS.**

**But, anyhow,**

"**Carry on, my wayward son."**

* * *

"_I should have just killed you that day on the road."_

"_I was just thinking of that, mutt. Say, have you found a bitch to keep you reigned in yet?" I said before my brain could halt my mouth._

_A deafening roar ripped from his lips as he shook like his own personal earthquake. The tearing sound that I'd grown to fear in my human life echoed around the attic, and a silver wolf barreled past his brothers to kill me._

At this very moment, while my life was flashing before my eyes, I could think of nothing but Edward. The times we'd spent together, the love we'd shared, the utter craziness that was our life (and death) together.

And just as I had expected, when I opened my eyes, time had stopped, exactly as I had wanted it to.

The problem was, Paul didn't.

I'm sure Carlisle would have an interesting theory about this. Probably something like, "Well, the wolves are so in flux that they are not bound by the fabric of time." And I'd be sure to ask him about it, if I lived.

Like the time that I'd almost been squashed by the fan, I saw everything in its brightest clarity all in the same moment. Paul, sprinting toward me at top speed, the trophies that littered the floor, the frozen images of horror plastered on the faces of everyone else in the room.

Wait, _everyone_ else in the room?

Yes, everyone, including the unphased wolves was frozen with different expressions on their faces. Most of the wolves had a look of horror on their faces. Carlisle had a hand extended in Paul's direction, probably hoping to protect me by making some sort of peace. Jasper had his eyes closed in concentration, trying to defuse the situation. Emmett and Alejandro wore the same expression.

Fury.

Emmett was already crouched, ready to pounce on Paul's then changing form. Alejandro was frozen with his body turned toward me, one foot in the air, like he was sprinting to protect me.

Not that it mattered. Paul was bearing down on me now, the seconds wasting away.

I glanced around again quickly, letting my vampiric fighting instincts take over. My eyes zeroed in on the beam above my head with the handprint I'd left in it. I reached for it again, and just as Paul barreled through the very place I'd just been, I swung myself into the rafters. I flipped all the way over the railing and slammed my feet into Paul's backside. He careened across the attic, slamming into the wall. He probably would have punched a hole straight through it, but instead, because of the wall of snow behind it, his body absorbed all of the impact. I flinched as I heard the sickening snap of breaking bones.

Paul howled a deep, guttural snarl and charged me again, a little slower this time, and with a slight limp. I stepped to the side right as he reached me, this time latching on to his tail as he passed. He skidded to a stop, then lifted into the air as I swung him over my head, slamming his body against the floor. He yipped softly, and was still.

I took the opportunity to step around either side of his back, settling into the fur of his shoulder blades. I bent forward as I wrapped my hands around his neck from behind, my teeth inches from his reeking skin.

"Had enough?" I heard a raspy voice that I could barely recognize as my own. Paul growled deeply in response.

"Well, I have. That's for damn sure." Jacob snarled. I turned, jumping quickly off of Paul's back to face my new adversaries.

"How…What?" I was completely befuddled. How was he a human and unfrozen?

"How…What?" Sam mocked. "You didn't think we'd see Paul fighting you?"

"But, why are you not frozen?" I asked.

"Frozen? What the hell are you talking about? I guess when they turn you into a leech, they flush your brain down the toilet, too."

Now I was pissed. I nodded over to the frozen pack. "THAT is what the hell I'm talking about."

Jacob had already approached the frozen figures. He planted a hand firmly on the center of Quil's chest and pushed. Quil's frozen body toppled over, knocking down the rest in succession, like a set of russet colored dominos. Very angry dominos.

The look on Jacob's face was priceless. After he realized Quil could not actually move, he lunged to catch him, missing by inches. When the others started to fall, he jumped back from the rest of the pack like they were on fire. The look of horror that still sat on his face was more than I could bear. I giggled hysterically.

"Is that funny to you, leech?" Sam asked. He apparently could not see the humor. I watched Jacob blush under his coppery skin.

"Sam. Relax." Jacob mumbled. Sam leaned away from me immediately, taking deep breaths. I arched an eyebrow at him.

"It's not what you think." Jacob said quickly.

"And how do you know what I'm thinking? Edward," He flinched when I said his name. "Doesn't even know what I'm thinking, and he can read minds. Are you telling me that you are NOT the leader of the pack?"

"No, I'm not. And this," Jacob waved a hand around the room toward his fallen comrades. "Is what you can do, isn't it? Like…him?"

"Yes." I told him truthfully.

"I take it, by the look of shock on your face, that this is the first time you've found anything that can escape your power."

"Yes." I said, honest again.

"Is this all you can do?"

"Yes." I lied this time. Why give it all away. Maybe, just maybe, I could save our souls with my gift.

"And would it be too much trouble to ask of you to UNfreeze everyone?"

"No. But you have to stay back."

"Like we'd get close to you, bloodsucker." Sam muttered.

"Why?" Jacob asked, ignoring Sam.

"If you're touching me when I do this, you get frozen in time."

"Great," Paul snapped from behind me, now back in human form. "Stay away from the parasite. Not a problem."

As I focused on returning the balance of time, I felt my conscience creeping up on me. Jacob really hadn't been so bad, and Paul had really only attacked me because I'd said horrible things about him and whoever it was that he'd imprinted on.

It really wasn't fair of me to leave them frozen in time.

Then again, they had come to kill us all, so most of my animosity was dissolved.

The tornado whirred in my ears for just a moment, then all was still. I looked up to see the pack, shuffling around on the floor, looking absolutely baffled. The Cullens, on the other hand, understood exactly what had happened, and were looking to me for answers.

"I not sure why, but somehow, if they're in wolf form when I open the wormhole, they can follow me into the rip." I said as quickly and quietly as I could. The wolves were muttering about something, but I was too busy trying to get answers of my own from Carlisle. Problem was, he looked just as confused as I was.

I heard a set of tromping footsteps, followed by an everflowing stream of profanities from Rosalie's mouth.

"Get your filthy mitts off me, bitch." She snapped as she walked through the door, with Leah only steps behind her. Alice and Esme were followed in by Seth.

"OK, Now what, Jake?" Seth asked.

No reply.

"Jake?"

The pack looked around the room, and one by one, I watched all of their eyes settle on Jacob, then Sam, then Paul.

Jared was the first to turn to me. The expression on his face was somewhere between disgusted, awed, and confused. Embry was next, followed by Quil. Slowly but surely, the entire pack focused on me.

"You…You did this?" Quil asked.

"Yes."

All of the questions flowed at once.

"Are they dead?"

"What else can you do?"

"Are you going to fix them?"

Alice piped up from across the room. "No, we're not telling you, and not unless you agree to get out of here."

Leave it to Alice to threaten a pack of angry werewolves with no leadership.

"Isabella Swan, I swear on The Third Wife that if you do not fix whatever you've done, I will kill you." Leah snarled at me.

I opened my mouth to make a snide retort, but before I could, I heard the voice of an angel.

"If you harm a single hair on Bella's head, I will not hesitate to kill you and every other mutt in a 300 mile radius. I can hear every thought in your head, and you'd best not forget it." Edward jumped through the hole in the roof and stepped to my side. He looked down into my eyes. "And it's Isabella _CULLEN _these days."

A moment of pungent, ugly silence fell over the room in the wake of his threat. Then, of course, Emmett spoke.

"Aw, shit. That's a BURN!"

Quil had been twitching, just aching for his moment to attack. Now, with no one to stop him, he went for it. Quil's body tore open and turned into the enormous wolf waiting inside. Emmett sprung from his place in the same moment that Quil did, and they collided in midair with a sickening slam.

Would it ever end?

* * *

**OK, so, I know this one was a little off, but that's cause I'm really nervous to go where I am about to go in this story. A lot of people are going to be REALLY angry with me, cause it's about to get **_WAY _**worse before it gets better. **

**So yeah, I'm a touch nervous. **

**But now you've been warned. **

**But anyways, the other thing I was talking about in the top A/N was that I was reading a story called "Once Friends, Now What?" by Just Call Me Mrs Cullen (Which is really awesome, by the way. You might want to check it out.) when I saw this…**

"August 1st happens to be an exciting night for all of us Twilighters… Following the usual time of Twilight, there happens to be a New Moon and a total solar Eclipse, making the morning after: Breaking Dawn! Coincidence that August 2nd was chosen? I think not."

…**Now, if that's not the most boss thing I've every heard, I don't know what is.**

**RANDOM SONG CHOICES**

**(I hope none of these are repeats. I lost my list. Insert sad face emodicon here.)  
****High Enough - Damn Yankees (Yeah, it's from the 80s. Deal)  
****Hey Mickey - Toni Basil (That's Me! Yay! This song gets played at every single dance. People request it because it makes me blush real hard. Like, Bella style.)  
****Duality - Slipknot (Hey, don't judge it by it's band name. I love this song, so don't hate on it, Kay?)**

**Reviews would be cool, too. **

**Kaythanksiloveyouallalotgoodbye.**


	10. IT'S OK TO HIT ME FOR THIS ONE

**A/N-**

**Oh God, you're all going to hate me. **

**I know I said I would be putting anything on hiatus. **

**But, as of right now, you may call me a dirty rotten liar. **

**School is literally whooping my ass right now, and I've got to focus on that for at least the next two weeks. **

**After finals, I promise that I'll return to you. **

**I should have new chapters around June 16th or so, so please check back. **

**Again, I am really sorry, but school has to come first.**

**Kaythanksiloveyoubye**

**-Puts on fire-retardant suit to protect self from flames-**

**SONGS THAT MAY NOT BE ON YOUR PLAYLIST (BUT SHOULD BE)**

**The Freshman - The Verve Pipe  
Points Of Authority - Linkin Park  
Lollipop - Lil Wayne (What? It's fun to dance to.)  
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana  
Hurt - Nine Inch Nails**

**Oh, and does anyone know a song (alternative) with lyrics that go **

**"This city, This city is brutal. There's no hope."**

**Cause I've googled them and I can't find it anywhere.**

**If you ready both of my stories, the A/N's are identical.**


	11. That's What I'm Talking Bout, Switch

**DISCLAIMER- Still isn't mine, sorry. **

**A/N- So, I'm changing it up. A LOT. And those of you that are looking for more pranks are going to get them soon. **

**It just got way too serious, and I get the feeling that people were starting to lose interest. So, what I'm saying is that I basically put a blindfold on this story, spun it around a few times, and let it free. It decided to head off in another direction, and I'm going to let it. Starting now.**

**Oh, and just for fair warning, there's some graphic violence in this one. It gets worse before it gets better. **

"**Don't think or judge, just listen"- a quote from **_**Just Listen **_**by**_** Sarah Dessen**_

* * *

"_Aw, shit. That's a BURN!" _

_Quil had been twitching, just aching for his moment to attack. Now, with no one to stop him, he went for it. Quil's body tore open and turned into the enormous wolf waiting inside. Emmett sprung from his place in the same moment that Quil did, and they collided in midair with a sickening slam. _

_Would it ever end?_

The two collided in midair, smashing into one another with the force of a sonic boom. I heard a mixture of screaming, a little of mine, some Esme, some Alice, a lot of wolf, and a ton of Rosalie. Emmett's fist here flying at light speed, flashing across Quil's furry body with no mercy. I begged for them to stop, but I knew, without some kind of divine intervention, one or both of them would die.

The thought of Emmett dying right in front of me sent me into a tailspin, and before I could think, I moved to stop them. Edward grabbed on to my hand.

"Bella!" He shouted over the howling and roaring of the fight. "Bella, you can't!"

"I have to, Edward. This whole thing is my fault!" I shouted back. I could see the terror in his eyes, and the thought of losing him was too much to bear. So, without thinking anymore, I launched myself toward the fight. Someone caught me in midair, slamming me to the ground. I looked up, expecting Edward, but instead, I saw Esme.

"How dare you do that to my son, my family. To me." She hissed at me. "We're planning right now, and you getting yourself killed is NOT part of it."

I swear on my undead life that, if I could have, I could have crapped my pants at that very moment. Angry Esme was quite possibly the most horrifying thing I'd ever seen. I nodded as we sat up at vampire speed. Suddenly, I heard another vampire on vampire smash. I almost did not want to see who had been tackled, for fear that it was Edward. When I looked up, though, I saw him watching the fight, wearing a horrified expression. My eyes darted around the room to figure out who it was.

Emmett was holding Rosalie in his arms, watching the fight. Carlisle was standing on the opposite side of the room with Alice.

That left only one.

Jasper.

I turned back to the fight, horrified.

"STOP!" I screamed. "DON'T HURT HIM!"

I watched as Jasper flung across the room and slammed into one of the support beams, snapping it in half. Alice was at his side in an instant, but I couldn't hear what she was saying over the fight.

Wait, the fight?

Then I realized the one person I'd forgotten. The guest in the house.

Alejandro had thrown himself in to save Emmett, and by the sound of it, was going to die because of it. I counted the werewolves next, realizing that two were missing, obviously a part of the blurred fight in the middle of the room.

Suddenly, one of the wolves flung across the room. **(A/N- WARNING! GRAPHIC CONTENT AHEAD!) **Like Jasper, it connected with one of the roofs supporting beams. But, unlike Jasper, the furry mass did not break through the wood. Instead, with a sickening, crunching snap, the wolfs spine doubled back around the beam. I watched for any signs on life.

There were none.

In some sick, twisted way, I considered myself lucky as to have been too distracted by the dead wolf to see its companion behead Alejandro. I did not, however miss the sound. The grating metallic keen ripped my attention from the wolf and to my now departed friend.

I looked at his headless corpse, and something inside me snapped. I would never be sure as to what it was, but something in my body unhinged itself and was now swinging wildly out of control. I felt all of my muscles tense at the same time, and I opened my mouth.

The sound that came out could be described in no other way than otherworldly. To me, internally, it felt as if I was screaming. The raw feeling in my throat, the burning of my useless lungs, needing the air to continue.

In my peripheral vision, I saw the glass of the small attic window shatter, the tiny pieces breaking again after landing on the floor. I felt my eyes narrow as I turned, directing the sound toward the pack. As quickly as they could, they clamped their hands over their ears, crying out in pain as the sound I made surely broke their eardrums. I wailed for over a minute, and when the sound finally ceased, there were no others.

I looked over at my family, all with mouths agape in awe. The wolves were still on their knees, clutching their heads with little trickles of blood coming from their ears.

And then everything went dark.

* * *

"Alright, kids. I want a clean fight."

"A clean fight? The woman that called the Volturi on us last year is looking for a clean fight. That's rich."

"Very funny."

My heart pounded through my chest. I had my eyes pinched closed, petrified that if I opened them, the moment happening in front of me would disappear.

"I swear to god, Emmett," I heard Edward say. "If I have to hear 'Barbie Girl' one more time, I will not hesitate to-"

"Ah ah ah!" Esme said, "Play nice."

"Yeah, Eddie. Play nice." Emmett said, increasing the déjà vu feeling. When Edward's growl shook my frame for the second time today, I stood.

"STOP IT!" I screamed at all of them. When I opened my eyes, they were all staring at me like I'd gone completely bonkers.

"Bella, it's alright. I wasn't actually going to hurt him." Edward soothed from beside me.

"No! We need to leave. We need to leave!" I exclaimed.

"Why? I've got some pretty neat stuff planned." Emmett pouted.

"I saw it. I saw it all." I said quietly.

"Bella, unless you've recently had a 'Freaky Friday' moment with Alice…" Rose trailed off. "You mean you _saw it _saw it, or you imagined it saw it?"

"_Saw it _saw it." I said, trying to ignore my shaking bones.

"Is it bad?" Edward asked.

"Why can't I see it if she can?" Alice glowered.

"Because they came."

The room grew painfully silent as the meaning of my words sunk in for everyone. Or almost everyone.

"Who came? I don't like this game." Emmett said. Rosalie clapped her open palm against the back of his head.

"It's a good thing you're good in the sack, Em." Alice said. "Cause I'm not really sure what Rose keeps you around for otherwise."

"Why you little turd!" Emmett said, turning to hop over the sofa to get her. Carlisle laid a heavy hand down on his shoulder.

"Perhaps now isn't the best time for that." He said. "Bella, could you please continue?"

As I told them the story, I received gasps and 'Oh, no!'s from everyone around the room, along with a painfully tight squeeze from Edward when I told him about Paul's attack. Emmett received another whack on the head for his antagonistic comment.

"So what do we do?" Carlisle asked. They all turned to me, the attention making me squirm. But, as the only one that could do anything in the situation, I had no choice but to step up.

"First of all, we need to hide the house. Jasper, I'm going to need that bomb." I said. "And then we're going to need to get out of here. And quickly."

Everyone stood in the same moment, all going to pack clothing or, in Jasper's case, finding a suitable pipe bomb.

Twenty minutes later, we were all in the garage, ready to leave. I held the pipe bomb, much to Edward's distaste, as we talked strategy.

"I'm going to run up the mountain, light this, and then we're leaving. Understood?" I asked. They all nodded and slid into their cars, slamming door after door. I was about to step out the garage door when I caught a scent.

Alejandro. The one person I'd left out of my equation.

"Al! I shouted. "Al! Get into the car with Edward right now!"

He cocked his head to the side, looking confused, but obeyed my command. I turned and sprinted up the mountain side at a breakneck pace, only pausing long enough to make sure the bomb was firmly planted and lit before taking off down the slope. Edward's car was turned toward me, and I slid into the car just as the bomb exploded.

"Wh…What is going…Was that a…I'm going to need an explanation pretty quick here." Alejandro babbled from the backseat. The tires spun in the snow as Edward tore away from the expansive mountain range. I told Alejandro what had happened this morning.

"And then I turned it back." I told him.

"Oh. That's it? I thought it took some cataclysmic event to give you enough energy to do something like that." He said. I'd sorta left off the part about him killing a werewolf before dying himself.

"It does." Edward said, obviously unhappy with my decision to withhold the information.

"And you've seen Emmett fight a bunch of times." Alejandro said, referring to last years run in with the infamous Felix.

"I…ah…" I trailed off.

"Tell him, Bella."

"Tell me what?" Alejandro asked from the backseat, clearly annoyed at being out of the loop.

"I don't think you want to know." I told him in a small voice.

"I do."

I breathed deeply, shooting Edward a glance before turning my attention to our friend.

"I saw you get into a fight. I fight that you didn't win." I said, watching his eyes tighten.

"What do you mean 'didn't win'?" He asked.

"You killed the werewolf, but his brother killed you." I could not meet his eyes as I told him. I heard a sharp intake of unnecessary breath, then the sound of it whooshing out.

"Thanks for that. You know, saving me." He said.

"I had to." I answered. A crackling sound interrupted my next thought, then I heard Alice's voice squeak over the speaker of a walkie-talkie that I hadn't noticed before.

"Mr. and Mrs. Masen, can you hear me? Over."

I pulled the radio into my palm and pressed the button. "Yeah, we're here."

"You didn't say over. Over." She said giggling.

"Oh my god. Are you kidding?"

"BELLA!" She whined. "Over."

"Fine. Whatever. Over."

"Thank you." She said. "Mr. and Mrs. McCarty, do you have your ears on? Over."

I could hear Emmett's voice in the background, talking about a sexy bunny costume when Rosalie replied. "We're listening. Over. God, Emmett, keep your hands off for thirty seconds while we work things out, please. I'll take care of that in a minute."

I got the distinct feeling that we were not meant that. I looked over at Edward who was doubled over in his seat in silent laughter.

"Watch the road." I frowned, trying to hold back my own giggles.

"Uh…Kay…How about you Mr. and Mrs. Cullen? Over."

"Yes. We're here." Carlisle said. He was probably the one talking because I could hear Esme's laughter in the background, making her incapable of speaking. "Over."

"Good. Now that we're all on the same page, what are we going to be doing today? Over." Alice crackled through the speaker.

"OOH! I've got an idea!" Emmett shouted into the radio. "Over."

Edward, who had just recovered from his last fit of laughter, broke into a wide grin as he took the radio from my hands. "No, Emmett, we're not going to see if they'll let us into the Playboy Mansion. Over."

"Hey! How can you read me from that far away? Over." He asked.

"I can't. I just know you that well. Over."

I heard Rosalie's voice in the background of Emmett's transmission, saying something about it being a lot longer than 30 seconds before he was putting his hands on anything. "Thanks brother." Sarcasm marred his tone. "Over."

"So, back to my original question, what should we do? Over."

* * *

**I just realized that the reason it took me so long to update this was that it was too dramatic, and I didn't like writing it anymore. Now that we're going to be doing happy stuff again, it flows much easier for me. I mean, this is the longest chapter in a while, weighing in at 9 pages (Average is around 5)**

**But, anyways…**

**Whadja think?**

**And more importantly,**

**THE FATE OF THIS STORY IS NOW UP TO YOU!!**

**VOTE IN THE POLL TO HELP ME DECIDE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!**

**Voting will close on the 7****th****, so it's very important that you vote right away.**

**I'm hoping to get 100 votes. Now, I know that's a lot to ask for, but I know that at least 168 of you read it regularly enough that asking you to vote shouldn't be too much of a stretch. I mean, Alice asked you a question. How are you going to turn that down?**

**Well, I'm off to traffic school for that speeding ticket. **

**Kill me now. **

**KaythanksIloveyoubye (not sure why I do this. Is it annoying?)**

**Mici**

**SONGS THAT YOU'D BETTER DOWNLOAD, LIKE, ASAP**

**Breathe In, Breathe Out - Matt Kearney  
****Enter Sandman - Metallica  
J****ohn The Fisherman - Primus (I've been playing a lot of Guitar Hero II lately.) **

Oh, and I'd just like to say...

HOLY EFFING CRAP!! Two updates in one day. A total of 19 PAGES!!  
-Does the cabbage patch-


	12. When The President Talks To God

**DISCLAIMER- FOR THIS CHAPTER, AND EVERY ONE AFTER IT, I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT, AND NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGMENT IS INTENDED. kaythanks**

**A/N- Nothing of importance to say at this point. My A/N tend to be really ramble-y anyways.**

* * *

_Edward, who had just recovered from his last fit of laughter, broke into a wide grin as he took the radio from my hands. "No, Emmett, we're not going to see if they'll let us into the Playboy Mansion. Over."_

"_Hey! How can you read me from that far away? Over." He asked._

"_I can't. I just know you that well. Over."_

_I heard Rosalie's voice in the background of Emmett's transmission, saying something about it being a lot longer than 30 seconds before he was putting his hands on anything. "Thanks brother." Sarcasm marred his tone. "Over."_

"_So, back to my original question, what should we do? Over."_

"Well," Esme said over the radio. "I think that you kids should each choose something to do. We can take a little vacation from Denali. Travel a little. What do you say?"

"I say OVER. Over." Alice chirped.

"Over. Over." Esme said petulantly.

"Thank you. And I think it sounds like a great idea. Over."

"Me too. Over" Emmett said.

"I agree. But we still aren't going to the Playboy Mansion, Emmett." Edward said. "Over."

"I have a better idea now." Emmett replied. "We're allowed to go anywhere, right? Over."

"I don't see why not. Over." Carlisle replied.

"Good. Washington DC it is. Over."

"We're driving all the way to DC?" Alice whined. "Over."

"That depends. Is using the plane an option? Over."

"Again, I don't see why not. Over."

"Perfect. To the airport we go. Over and out."

"Edward, what plane?" I asked. Great. Another frivolous show of wealth.

"When Emmett was in World War II, he was a pilot. He missed it, so he bought a jet for himself a couple of years ago."

"Oh. You mean while…" I trailed off.

"Yes. I didn't exactly mean to bring that up. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I'm too excited to care right now anyway." I smiled.

When we arrived at the airport, we drove straight to our hanger. Inside was Anita, as Emmett had affectionately named her, our Boeing BBJ plane **(A/N- Link in profile. The 360 tour is sweet if you've got realtime).**

"It's a little early for a trip, ain't it?" The airport worker said groggily. Only then did I look at my phone, seeing the ungodly hour.

"Yes, but you know what they say." Carlisle told the man. "The early bird catches the worm.

"Worms aren't even up at this hour." He replied, tugging down the door for us. "I'll pull you out to the runway, and air traffic control will get you from there, alright?"

"You bet." Emmett grinned down at him before pulling the ladder up behind himself. "So, who's excited!"

"I am!" Alice bounced around in her seat.

"They all are. I assure you." Jasper said.

"Good."

So far, Emmett had been completely vague about his plans. I'd spent the entire plane ride in the cockpit with him grilling him for information. After all four hours, I'd learned nothing.

"So?" Jasper asked. "Anything?"

"He strong-armed me!" I frowned. Jasper groaned and looked at Edward.

"The only thing I heard him think was, "Man, I wonder if I could get Rose into that back bedroom'."

"Ugh. The suspense is killing me!" I whined. I heard Alice giggle from the corner and turned to her. Jasper laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't bother. She's like a tiny little safe." He frowned at her, then ran to her side when she shot him a pouty look.

"Alright!" Emmett said over the radio after we'd rented cars for the day **(Pictures in profile. I love Edward and Bella's car. A lot. It, like, oozes sex. No lie)**. "This is Mr. Hummer here. Can you hear us, Mrs. Camero? Over."

"Yeah, I can hear you. And that stuff they say about hybrids having no torque is totally bullcrap. Over." Alice squeaked.

"How about you Mr. Maserati? Over."

"Yes, we can hear you. Over." Carlisle replied.

"How about you Mrs. McLaren. Over."

"Yeah. We can hear you. And Edward is dying. Over."

"And why's that? Over." Alice giggled.

"Because this car can go over 210 miles an hour, and we're going the speed limit." I laughed. "Over."

"That's because we need to stay off the police scanners for a while, OK? Over." Emmett said.

"Emmett? What are we doing? Why are we avoiding the police scanners now? Over." Esme's voice sounded concerned as it broke from the speaker.

"Don't worry. We'll be gone before anything bad happened. And even if we're not, it isn't like we can die or anything. Over."

"EMMETT! WHAT ARE WE DOING THAT COULD INVOLVE HUMAN DEATH?!" Esme shouted at him. "Over."

"Just follow me. You'll get it. Over and out."

"Dammit Emmett, get back here!" Carlisle said this time. "Over."

"Mr. Hummer?" I tried. "Mr. Hummer, are your ears on? Over."

We received no reply, so we simply followed him toward our destination. When we reached the heart of the capitol, I started glancing at street signs. Emmett made a left onto a certain street, and I suddenly understood why there was the threat of death.

Pennsylvania Avenue.

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, to be exact.

The White House.

"You guys still there? Over." Emmett's voice came through loud and clear.

"Mhmm."

"Yeah."

"We're here." We all replied at the same time. "Over." We added with a laugh.

"Good." I could hear the smile in his voice. "Now here's the plan." **(Someone suggested this to me, but I can't find the name to go with the idea. So, whoever you are, this is for you. Lol)**

* * *

With screaming tires, Emmett plowed through the gate, past the guard tower and skidded to a stop on the lawn. The rest of us peeled into a stop next to him, sprinting toward the White House as fast as we could.

"Oh, please god. PLEASE don't let him be on vacation." Emmett muttered to himself as we slammed the doors behind us.

"He's here. In the Oval Office. I think…I think he's napping." Alice said, her eyes pinched closed.

"He's thinking about monkeys, if that means anything." Edward said shrugging.

"Let's go." Esme said. "Before we get…what do the kids say these days…capped?"

I burst out laughing and took off for the stairs, where I could hear faint snoring. Emmett caught me on the stairs.

"Bella, hold up." He said as the others sprinted past. "Do you think you could work a little magic for me?"

"Oh, I don't know, Em."

"Pleeeeease?" He begged, dropping onto his knees and folding his hand together. "Please please please?"

"Fine." I laughed, pulling him up. "I'll try."

"Aw thank you thank you thank you!" He said, pulling me into an engulfing hug.

"Move it along you two." I heard Edward chuckle. "We don't have all day!"

"You know, Ed. I'm feeling a little love between those two. You might have to-" He stopped abruptly. I probably could have melted a diamond with the stare I leveled at him.

"Jeez Bells. It was just a joke!" He said, taking a step back. "You've got to stop spending time with Rosalie." He muttered under his breath.

"I HEARD THAT!" Rose and I shouted at the same time.

"OK, now's not the time for a battle to the death, children." Esme said from somewhere upstairs. "At the moment, we are enemies of the entirety of the United States."

We raced up the stairs, past the charging Secret Service men, and into the Oval Office.

"OK Bells. Do your thing."

I felt seven hands latch onto me as I reached for the President of the United States.

I heard the whirling tornado sound, and then only the unnecessary breath of my family.

Well, that, and the groggy groans of the awakening President.

"Wh…What the heck is goin' on?" He asked, looking around at us.

Emmett stepped forward, arm extended. "Hey there, George. I'm Emmett. This is Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Bella, Edward, Alejandro, and that hot blonde over there is my wife Rosalie."

"It's…uh…nice to meet you all." He said, rubbing his eyes. He was in choo-choo pajamas and his hair was sticking up in more directions than I thought possible. "Can I ask what yer doin' in my office?"

"Ah. Straight to the point. Good man. Well, I have a challenge for you." Emmett said, standing tall.

"OK. What kind of challenge?" He said.

"A challenge of epic proportion, one that you'll never forget. One that will test your knowledge, agility, and mental awareness."

"Well what is it?" President Bush asked, now eager.

"Mister President, I challenge you to a game of Hide and Seek."

* * *

**Yeah, this one's shorter than the last one. **

**But seriously, I **love** that cliffhanger. When will I ever get to say that at any other moment in my life?**

**And, if you are not from the United States, I apologize for writing this little tidbit that may leave you out of some sort of loop. It's just that he's so stupid that he'd definitely play hide and seek, and I couldn't resist the option of making a jab at him. Lol**

**And if you support him, please don't get all crabby on me for calling him stupid. It's my opinion, and I do believe that by my First Amendment Rights, I can say that if I feel like it. **

**Kaythanksilessthanthreeyou**

**Mici**

**Songs You Really Should Know About (cause it's a damn shame if you don't)**

**Always - Saliva  
****I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry (Yeah, I know it's a little odd. But it's been stuck in my head for like four days.)  
****Never Wanted To Dance - Mindless Self Indulgence**

**I'm seriously running out of music. I mean, 6 songs twice a week is starting to wear my library thin. Help me out kids! **

Oh, and if you'd review, that'd be sweet.

And vote, seeing as there's a new poll and all...


	13. Count To Ten, And Catch Us If You Can

**A/N- So, is it karma that I got into a car accident the day I have traffic school, or just really horrible timing…**

**-Insert every swearword you know here-**

**Oh, and two things were pointed out to me very recently. One is that I'm deviating from the general premise of the story. I'm going to try to fix that. I swear. **

**And another is that during the time this story is set, Bush will no longer be president. So, I guess we're just going to have to pretend. **

**I tried to keep most of the politic-y stuff out of it. **

**Tried is the key word in that sentence. **

**I don't mean to offend anyone with any jabs I take. **

* * *

"_OK. What kind of challenge?" He said. _

"_A challenge of epic proportion, one that you'll never forget. One that will test your knowledge, agility, and mental awareness."_

"_Well what is it?" President Bush asked, now eager. _

"_Mister President, I challenge you to a game of Hide and Seek."_

"Well, I'd love to kids, but I don't really think the Secret Service will be comfortable with that." He paused for a moment. "Wait, how'd you get in here? I really gotta fire my Secret Service."

"Ah, the Service is all take care of." Emmett smiled.

"You mean…you killed 'em?" He asked, shrinking back. "Who are you with? Osama? North Korea?"

"Hey, Jasper?" Emmett said. George's face quickly relaxed into a dopey(er) smile. Emmett nodded his thanks and continued. "No, we didn't kill anybody. We just stopped time." He said, as if it were an everyday occurrence.

"Wow. I know I smoked a lot of the hippie lettuce when I was in college, but this is the weirdest trip I've been on." He drawled, shaking his head.

"Hippie lettuce?" Esme asked quietly from the background. I heard Carlisle whisper to her, then a snorting giggle.

"Good. You think your hallucinating. You're not going to tell anyone about this, are you?" Emmett said, folding his massive arms over each other over his black t-shirt. The way he said it had implied it was not a question.

"Naw. They'd think I's crazy of something." He said. "Boy, this is one weird dream."

"You bet it is." Emmett smiled grandly. "But back to the point. You know the rules of hide and seek, yes?"

George nodded, and Emmett turned to us. His eyes flashed, and Alice and Edward's hand flew to their faces. I panicked for a moment, until I head Emmett's voice.

"Nose goes on being it!" He said, bringing his own hand to his face. In the blink of an eye, all of us lifted our hands to our faces, then looked over to George. He was just starting to bring his hand to his face.

"Does that mean I'm it?" He asked, looking from face to face. We nodded, biting back laughs. "OK then. How high do you want me to count?"

"50?" Emmett said, winking as he looked back at us. "Fifty should give us enough time to get away."

"You can count that high, right?" Rosalie's tone was between scathing and honest curiosity. The president stuck his tongue out at her. She leveled a glare at him. "Classy."

"Good luck to yeh. I know every nook and cranny of this place." He boasted.

"Just count." She seethed.

"Fine. The perimeter is all of the house. No going outside." He said, turning toward the wall. "One. Two. Three…"

We all bolted from the room lightning, with exception to one.

* * *

ALEJANDRO'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

Being from Europe, I already had a certain distaste for the leader of the free world. Now, seeing him in the flesh, I couldn't help but want to observe him.

Which is why, while he counted, I hid myself in his office.

"Forty eight…forty nine…FIFTY!" He shouted at the top of his lungs before whirling around. Not even bothering to check the room first, he marched toward the door and ripped it open. I had to practically bite my lip off to keep from bursting out in laughter as he shouted. "I'll getcha! No one ever gets away from The Dubaya."

He stalked out into the hallway, and I slinked out from my hiding place to follow. He, however, stopped dead in the mouth of the room.

"Simmons? Talk to me buddy!" He called out his frozen comrade.

"He can't hear you." Edward's voice was clear, deep, and oddly sinister as it floated invisibly from his hiding place. George's head snapped in the direction of the sound, and he jogged down the hallway toward it. I stepped out behind him, walking quickly and stealthily behind him. A few times, when a board squeaked beneath my foot, he whirled around, pointing in the direction of the noise. I was just quick enough to dart into doorways before he could catch a glimpse of me, snickering quieter than he could hear.

After almost twenty minutes of fruitless searching and taunts echoing from the walls, the President stopped in the middle of the hallway.

"Excuse me…uh…dream people?" He called out to no one.

"Yes?" I heard Bella reply.

"This is too hard!" He whined.

"Fine. You want to make it more interesting?" George nodded, so Jasper continued. "See that Secret Service guy right there. To your left. No, your other left."

George nodded again, walking over the statue of a man.

"Grab his piece."

Laughter echoed from every wall at the statement, and the connotations behind it.

"That's not what I mean, and you all know it." he grumbled. "I meant his gun."

George nodded, tears streaming down his face from laughing. "Which one of you was that? The skinny blonde one? I thought you looked a little gay."

Screams of laughter were overruled by a deep, guttural growl from Jasper's throat. Edward suddenly shouted over the mayhem.

"HE DOESN'T SMELL _THAT _GOOD JAZZ!"

The laughter quieted, and the unsettling silence fell over the hall again.

"What I meant," Jasper continued. "was that maybe you should arm yourself."

"Arm myself? You mean shoot at you?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes."

"But won't you, ya know, die?"

"We're only a figment of your imagination, George. We can never die."

"Okie Dokie." He said, grabbing the gun off the guard. He cocked the gun, then proceeded to stalk around, pivoting around corners and walking against walls like he was one of Charlie's angels.

With absolutely no prior warning, a door a few steps down the hall, and Emmett streaked across the hallway. Bush fired three rounds at him, each one missing and lodging in the plaster. Emmett laughed hysterically as George charged down the hall after him.

Alice ricocheted around the hallway like a superball before disappearing behind a door. He fired another 4 shots at her fleeting form.

It was like whack-a-mole, vampire style.

George chased after her, narrowly missing losing a hand to the slamming door. He marched in after her, returning moments later with his arm wrapped around hers, "restraining her."

"I guess I'm it." She giggled. "I'll count to one hundred."

As soon as Alice closed her eyes, George took off like a bat out of hell.

* * *

GEORGE BUSHS' POINT OF VIEW

* * *

That little one with the high pitched voice was it. I knew she couldn't be very fast, seeing how short her legs were.

Now, to find a place where they'd never look.

I ran as fast as I could up to the third floor and sprinted to the end of the hall. AH HA!

As carefully as I could, I ran up the ball return in the bowling alley. When I got to the end of the lane, I ducked down, knocking the pins over as I climbed back into the inner workings.

They'd never find me here.

NEVER!

* * *

ALICE'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

What kind of moron hides in the back of a bowling lane?

I sighed out loud as I counted slowly to one hundred, waiting for him to get situated. When I could see he was staying put, I sped through the last of the numbers before calling out.

"READY OR NOT! Here I come."

I could feel Edward rooting around in my mind, looking at the places I would search first and where I would find everyone else.

_Mind your own business, Edward! _I snapped.

"If you get to use yours, I get mine!" he called back.

I growled mentally at him before switching fully into hunt mode.

* * *

After I'd searched every else out, I asked about George.

"Well, I feel bad just leaving him there." I said, frowning. Jasper laid a hand on my shoulder, and I felt nothing but adoration.

"Why bother? There's going to be a lot of unanswered questions about where the bullet hole came from anyway." Carlisle shot Jasper a scathing look before pulling Esme to his side and towards the door.

"I guess you're right." I said, following.

When we reached the lawn, we tried to put everything back the way it had been before our intense crusade onto the property. Emmett and Alejandro re-hung the fence while Esme, Bella and I fluffed the bushes the best we could.

As we all filed into our cars for the next leg of our trip, Emmett hopped onto the roof of the Hummer. He lifted his hand to his head in a stiff salute before jumping through the sunroof and into the drivers seat.

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me? Over." He asked.

"Yeah, I hear you. Over." She replied.

"Once we get off the property, would you please undo this doodle? Over."

"Sure, Em. Over."

"Thanks. We'll talk again on the highway, but for now, over and out."

* * *

**Whoo-ha!**

**Last exam is tomorrow. Anyone hablan espanol? Porque es muy importante yo saco un buena nota. **

**-Sigh- **

**Oh, and don't forget to vote in the poll. It helps decided who goes next. **

**Kaythanksiloveyoubye**

**Mici**

**YOU KNOW THE DRILL**

**Dear Lucid, Our Time Is Right Now - Evans Blue  
****Echoplex - Nine Inch Nails  
****Discipline - Nine Inch Nails**

Oh, and reviews would be cool. I creeping up on 500! God that's crazy. Thank you to every one that has reviewed so far, or plans to in the future. I really do appreciate it.


	14. I'll be back soon, I swear!

**A/N- Ok, So I know I've been avoiding writing for a while, but I promise I'll be back. **

**Next week. (Sorry Maggie. At least you got the ball rolling!)**

**Because I'm literally typing this in the 5 minutes before I leave for vacation. **

**I'm sorry, I know you all hate authors notes. But, to make up for it, I'm going to write you a HUGE chapter when I get home (Over 4000 words. That's almost double the length of the average chapter). I've already started it, so here's a little quote. **

"We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news bulletin. The hospital in charge of taking care of our currently catatonic President is under some type of attack." The radio called out. "Casualties appear to be at a minimum, but some suggest this is only the beginning. Could this be the attacks we've been anticipating since the start of the war?"

I sighed loudly, turning the car off and stepping out into the cloudy morning.

_What have they done now?!_

**I'll talk to you all next week!**

* * *

**You know the drill by now…**

**All Summer Long - Kid Rock (This song is almost EXACTLY what I'm going to be doing for the next week. If you've ever wondered what a vacation in Michigan is like, this is it. I mean, seriously, I'm going to be 'catching Walleye off the dock' and everything. This song is my summer to a tee. And I have to support Kid Rock, as he came from a town that borders mine.)  
****Buried Alive - Alter Bridge  
****Welcome Home - Coheed and Cambria **


	15. I Know I Made Some Mistakes

**A/N- I know, I know. As of today (I started this on the 11th) it's been an entire month since I've given you a real update. **

**I am really, really sorry. **

**And if it's any consolation, I ignored my beta work as well. (Sorry Spunk.Ransom.Is.Love If you don't know who that is, you should, because the stories that I've seen are both very well written. And yes, for those of you wondering, I am groveling for being such a crappy person.)**

**And, just to bring a little more hellfire and brimstone down upon myself, I'm going to disappear again. Basically, I've got shit every day until the 10th of August. I mean, my schedule is so packed that I won't even have time to think about how crabby I am that my preordered copy of Breaking Dawn probably won't come until some time around the 7th. **

**Therefore, the chapter has been split in two. The second half of it will be posted Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday of this week, in order to hopefully lessen the blow. **

**Well, now that you all want to perform some type of bodily harm, I'm sure, let's get it going, eh?**

* * *

"_Bella? Bella, can you hear me? Over." He asked._

"_Yeah, I hear you. Over." She replied._

"_Once we get off the property, would you please undo this doodle? Over."_

"_Sure, Em. Over."_

"_Thanks. We'll talk again on the highway, but for now, over and out."_

* * *

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

We all sped quickly around the frozen traffic on the highway, finally settling on a secluded abandoned gas station just beyond a barren off-ramp. Edward, simply to showboat for his brothers, pulled the emergency break, sending the tires into a screaming fit and the chassis whirling in a tight spiral. And, of course, in true Edward fashion, the car came to a firm halt in a parking space perfectly between the fading yellow lines. I looked over at him, rolling my eyes as I arched an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked sheepishly before darting from the car and around to my side. I chuckled, then replied, knowing that I wouldn't have to be the one to scold him.

"Nothing. Nevermind." I told him as we approached the rest of his family on the other side of the lot.

"God, Edward. Do you have to be such a tool?" Rosalie called out to him. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh as he snarled at her playfully.

"Oh, Rose. You're just jealous that you could never pull off anything that spectacular in that beast of a Hummer." He replied, smiling challengingly.

"Just wait, Eddie. I've got a little something back in Alaska that will Blow. Your. Mind."

"Alright, enough with the pissing contest," Emmett interjected. He could see that things would be getting out of had soon if someone did not intervene. "Bella, can we get this going?"

I nodded, stepping into the enter of the informal circle we had formed. "OK, everyone pick your poison." I said, feeling five hands reach out to me. I heard an odd snorting noise, and the sound I'd come to know as someone being punched. I turned my head to look, and found Jasper with a lighthearted smiled, cradling his arm and a peeved looking Edward.

"No, you may not put your hand there." He said, leveling a glare at his brother.

"Oh, relax. You know I was only kidding." Jasper laughed before placing a hand on my shoulder.

Happy, extroverted Jasper was still something that I had not grown accustomed to. I was used to only Emmett making the perv-y jokes, or teasing me for holding out on Edward for so long. But, after a few moths of being cooped up with him in the Alaskan mountains with only an old SuperNintendo to keep you company, **(No, I'm not knocking the SuperNintendo. I LOVE it, actually.)** true personalities appear.

"Do I even want to know?" I asked Edward, who'd slipped his hands into the back pockets of my jeans. Edward chuckled and shook his head.

"No, I don't think so." I told me. I nodded, then checked to make sure everyone was touching me in some way. When each hand was accounted for, I gave a quiet countdown before spinning us all back through the fabric of time, making everything restart.

"That is just the oddest feeling, isn't it?" Esme asked no one in particular.

"Yeah, but it feels pretty cool on my-" Emmett was silenced by Rosalie's long white fingers curling over his mouth. When she released him, he frowned. "What? I was going to say…Ah…I was going to say…"

"We all know what you were going to say." Alice rolled her eyes before turning them to me. "So, who do you think should go next?"

"I don't know. Why don't we just draw names?" I asked, trying to be diplomatic. Alice's eyes closed, and suddenly she was jumping up and down.

"It's me! Me! I get to go next! I have the perfect idea! Just follow us!" She said, dragging an unwilling but compliant Jasper behind her to the car.

I sighed loudly and looked at the others. "A thousand dollars and the next big piece of game says that we're going to the mall."

"You're on." Edward said, gripping my hand and shaking it before I could exclude him from the bet. We all filed back to our cars and rejoined the now moving traffic, trucking towards Virginia at top speed. Edward and I had been sharing pleasant conversation when a cracking voice came over the walkie-talkie.

"You wouldn't happen to be listening to the radio, would you? Over." Carlisle asked us.

"No, why?" Alice asked, then quickly added. "Over."

I leaned forward, turning on the complex looking stereo system and tuning it to the first station I could find.

"-No one is completely sure what is going on at the moment. The Press Secretary is not giving out much information at this time, but we will update you as soon as the information becomes available. For those of you just joining us, the President has recently been discovered in a catatonic state in the White House, and is now on the way to George Washington University Hospital for diagnostic work-" I clicked the radio off, having heard enough.

"Well shit!" Emmett croaked over the radio. "We've got to go fix that up, huh?"

"I would say so, yes." Carlisle replied. "Over."

* * *

CARLISLE'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

My family had gotten themselves into many messes in our time together, but few were as well publicized or ridiculous as the one we were enduring now. As I sat in the Maserati, listening to the newly 'acquired' (known to the normal world as 'stolen') Police scanner and the radio in the parking lot of the hospital, I got a dark, uncomfortable feeling. I ignored it and turned to smile at Esme, who was tapping he fingers lightly against her knee. I gently took her fidgeting hand in mine and kissed her knuckles.

"They will be just fine. I'm sure of it." I promised her with a reassuring smile. She nodded and smiled back before turning to face the hospital again. The rest of the family and Alejandro had skittered into the building, avoiding the blindingly bright lamps that illuminated most of the hospital parking lot almost an hour ago. Somehow, it settled my nerves the slightest bit to have not heard gun shots as of yet.

But, that feeling of wellbeing was almost instantly eradicated by a sudden, loud bang and a brilliantly white light that flashed in a darkened window. Esme turned quickly to look at me, her eyes bordering franticness. I squeezed her hand soothingly.

"I'm sure if something went wrong, they would have called us for help." I told her. Her brown unfurrowed slightly, and she shot me the tiniest of smiles and let out a breath. We both glanced down at the phone in the center console, where the phone sat dormant. I looked back up at her and stole a small kiss before settling back into my seat.

The feeling of comfort lasted about as long as the engine of Bella's brand new 'after vehicle' Bugatti when Rosalie spied it when the radio crackled on a short while later. **(Picture of the car is on the site. Another car that's **_**ohsosheckshay. **_**I'm not totally sure why, but I have a thing for really ****fast cars. I mean, the Veyron's got 1001hp. yum)**

"We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news bulletin. The hospital in charge of taking care of our currently catatonic President is under some type of attack." The radio called out. "Casualties appear to be at a minimum, but some suggest this is only the beginning. Could this be the attacks we've been anticipating since the start of the war?"

I sighed loudly, turning the car off and stepping out into the cloudy morning.

_What have they done now?!_

* * *

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

Getting past the few tired humans in the hospital hadn't been particularly difficult. I mean, when you can dart across a hall way in the time it takes for the eye to close during the standard blink, how hard could it be, right?

No, it had not gotten difficult until we reached the vacant floor that the President resided on. A secret service man was posted at the entrance to the stairwell, the elevator, the dumbwaiter, and one at the nurses station watching the small security set-up the had rigged up when they'd arrived. Outside the Presidents room, there were another three agents.

Which is why we now found ourselves crouched one floor down from the fourth floor landing, directly below the security camera in the stairwell.

"OK." Emmett said, his voice so quiet that even my intensely keen newborn hearing had trouble picking it up. "What now?"

"I've got an idea." Jasper announced. "But it may involve a hospital gown, a pint of blood, and a flash bomb."

* * *

Emmett and Rosalie had been sent downstairs with their assignment, while Edward, Jasper, Alice, Alejandro, and I all stood, waiting for them to set the plan in action. I turned my head, listening to the elevator cables setting our ideas into action. The bell chimed in the hallway, and the four of us shot up the staircase and hid directly under the camera on the 4th floor. I held my unnecessary breath, fearing that our plan may have soured already, only to release it when I heard the heartbeat of the Secret Service man pick up.

"He-hello." I could hear him through the door standing up for his position at the nurses station.

"Hey there." I heard Rosalie purr. I peaked my head over to the tiny window, peering around the sleeve of the agent still standing vigil by the staircase.

"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but this floor is off limits." The man standing in front of the door told her. Rose's heels clicked and clacked against the tile of the floor as she approached the stairwell. She stepped close enough that I could smell her scent, which she ably wafted towards the Secret Service man.

"Really?" She said, sliding close enough that I could see her through the window. Tossing her hair, she pouted. "But my brother was just on this floor yesterday."

"I don't know what to tell you miss, other than that you can not be on this floor under federal orders." He said, his voice trying to sound businesslike, and less like a panting dog. I looked over at Alejandro, who was crouched next to me.

"Come on." I whispered. "We don't have all day."

He grinned and nodded, and I felt a large blast of pheromones circulating the air around us. A low growl, followed by the soft squeal of Jasper pinning Alice to the cement floor and kissing her ravenously attracted my attention. Edward had his eyes closed, fists clenched, trying to ignore the intense sensation that Al was subjecting us to. Looking away from Edward as quickly as I could to avoid the urges I was sequestering myself, I held my breath, not that it improved the situation much, and slugged Alejandro in the shoulder.

"Could you focus that a little better?" I snapped quietly. He rolled his eyes, and the air in the room slowly returned to normal as the air outside changed.

Rosalie, ever the actress she was, seemed generally unphased by the blast. The agent, however, was less prepared.

"I…ah…" He fumbled, quickly falling under the spell. With a gentle batting of her eyelashes and a hand settling on the agent's bicep, her job was complete.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" She asked softly in his ear, making him shiver. Her eyes darted quickly to me, peaking through the window at her, and she shot me a quick wink before returning her attention to the guard.

"A- Andrew Ryan." He choked out.

"Is that so?" She ran her tongue along her bottom lip, sniffing discreetly to make sure that she was having the desired effect. And, telling by the raging level of testosterone pumping through his veins at a breakneck pace, she was. "So, do you that you could work a little magic on that computer over there and find out where they moved my brother?"

He gulped loudly and nodded, leading her toward the nurses station where the other agent sat.

Just as we opened the door, I heard a woman's voice shouting.

"Hey! What is she doing here? Ryan? Vargas? What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Edward froze for a moment beside me, the spoke. "Rosalie is talking to me. She needs some assistance. Someone to distract the woman."

We all turned to Alejandro, who frowned slightly and nodded. "OK, OK."

Stretching himself to full height, I felt a new wave of intense pheromones pour through the air as her opened the door and stepped out into the room.

"Oh, Rose. There you are." He said, his voice smooth and inviting. "Sorry, I got caught up in the cafeteria."

"That's fine. I was just talking to Andy here." She said, winking seductively at the man. I nodded cordially at the man, seeming to have forgotten that he was supposed to be escorting her off the premises- with lethal force if necessary.

The female agent, however, was not so easily swayed.

"Excuse me," She said, her tone curt. "But you need government clearance to be on this floor."

"I'm only looking for my-" Rosalie started, but was rudely interrupted.

"I'm not going to tell you again," The woman said, moving her jacket aside to rest her hand on the butt of her gun. "Leave this floor immediately."

Alejandro turned to her, letting a slow, sexy smile spread across his pale face. "Agent," He paused to read her nametag. "Cooper. My name is Alejandro Montoya, and I'm here looking for my friend. His name is Robert Rutabaga. He was on this floor yesterday."

The entire floor reeked of pheromones, and the brunette in the hallway swooned against her will. "I'm sure we can figure something out. How about you show me which room he was in yesterday." She winked at him.

He nodded, then shot the speediest of looks at us. Edward chuckled beside me as the room before us cleared of all people.

"Rose said the hallway is all clear. And Al said that if anyone tells Tanya about this he'll ground their bones to dust." Edward chortled. He stepped around me, staying out of the sights of the camera and opened the door. "Come on."

We all filed out into the room one by one, hugging the wall closely. Once we'd all escaped the peering eye of the camera, Jasper turned to us with a impish grin.

"Now it's time for the fun stuff."

* * *

**Okiedokie. **

**Next update will come soon, before I go MIA. I'm sorry that I've become so flakey lately. I don't really have an excuse other than pure laziness and lack of inspiration. **

**On another note, I'm now on the hunt for a beta to this story. If you're interested, leave a review for me and I'll check out your beta profile. You'll get to read the chapter before anyone else, so there's a little perk, I guess. **

**And, I am SO excited to find out what they're playing rock paper scissors for, and why Bella says that to Newton. 19 days and counting. **

**You'll hear from the some time this coming week, I promise. **

**Kaythanksiloveyoubye**

**Mici**

**Random Songs (You get extra because I fell really bad for disappearing)**

**Talking To The Walls - Finger Eleven  
****Shake It - Metro Statio  
****Love Me Dead - Ludo (To whoever suggested this to me, I LOVE it. Seriously, it's been on repeat for like 4 days now.)  
****Viva La Vida - Coldplay  
****Save Your Scissors - City And Colour  
****There Is - Boxcar Racer**


	16. Lightning Very Very Frightening

**A/N- Here I am. Just like I said I'd be. Whoohoo!**

**Pranks are back this chapter. This time, an unsuspecting human gets a little fright, JFD style. **

**Lets get this show on the road, shall we?**

* * *

_We all filed out into the room one by one, hugging the wall closely. Once we'd all escaped the peering eye of the camera, Jasper turned to us with a impish grin._

"_Now it's time for the fun stuff."_

* * *

EMMETT'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

I'm not entirely sure why I'm in the cafeteria, grinding aluminum foil into dust. Jasper gave me a list of things to get and to do, but wouldn't tell me what they were for.

So now, I'm standing in front of a blender in the kitchen, trying to juggle a child size hospital gown, a few pints of blood, an envelope, a single match, and five or six odd powdered chemicals from one of the pharmacies.

_Edward, _I thought. _Edward, If you can hear me, tell Jasper that I've got the stuff, and I'll be up in a minute. _

I raced up the stairs to find everyone corralled in the now empty lobby. Depositing all the items but the blood and gown in Jasper's arms, I stepped back to stand with the others.

"So, do we get to find out what all of this is for, or not?" I asked as Jasper, who had hastily began combining the chemicals and the powdered aluminum in the envelope upon their delivery.

"They will, but right now-" Jasper was interrupted by a sharp intake of breath from Alice, followed quickly by an odd wretching sound from Edward.

"Why does that have to be a part of the plan?" Alice groaned at Jasper.

"Because, it will attract a LOT of attention, which is exactly what we're looking for." He explained, still not looking up from his work.

"What plan?" I asked, frowning. Alice looked at me with haunted eyes, and Edward shivered slightly. "What is going on?"

* * *

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

Without any further explanation, Jasper pushed Emmett into the stairwell. There was the murmur of Jasper's voice, followed by an echoing bark of Emmett's laughter. I looked to Edward, hoping for an explanation, but received only a grimace and a shake of the head. Before I could ask Alice, Jasper called her into the stairwell.

"Edward, what is going on?" I asked.

He frowned deeply, the lines creasing his perfect forehead. "It's best to just be blindsided, I think."

Alice reentered, carting the bags of blood. She tossed one to Edward, one to me, and kept another in her arms. One was missing, which probably meant that Emmett or Jasper held it. My money was on Emmett.

Jasper appeared a few moments later, holding the match and envelope.

"Are we ready?" He asked, looking at Edward, Alice and I. They both nodded, but I frowned and shook my head.

"Uh, excuse me, but I still have no idea what the plan is."

"Basically, your job is to run like hell and get into the President's room unnoticed."

"Oh. Sounds simple enough." I grumbled sarcastically. "I'm sure the armed guards will simply step aside for me, ya know?"

"That's what this is for." Jasper said, holding up the match and envelope.

"What, am I going to write them a stern letter if they don't agree to do it?"

"It's a flash grenade, Bella." Jasper explained, trying to keep my from grinding his patience. "It's going to blind everyone looking at it for about 20 seconds."

"Oh," I said, looking down at my shoes. I heard Alice intake a sharp breath, and immediately turned to her. "What's going on?"

"Carlisle and Esme see the flash. They come inside. Someone needs to be downstairs to stop them." She paused, then looked at Jasper. "It's you."

"I'm the most logical choice anyway. You all understand what is going to happen?" He asked. Edward and Alice nodded, and before I could ask about the rest of the plan, Jasper struck the match and lit the envelope on fire. Darting to the end of the hall, he heaved the envelope down, landing it directly in front of the three agents.

"Eyes closed." He said before taking off down the staircase. Alice, Edward, and I closed out eyes and waited. A brilliant white light flashed, illuminating the thin skin of my eyelids an odd grey color.

"Twenty seconds and counting." Edward said, pulling on my hand. We sprinted past the still blinded guards and into the room. "OK. Do your thing, and fast."

I wrapped a hand around George's frozen wrist, working my way back to release him from his stilled version on time. When the whirring finally ceased, I felt his arm twitch, signaling that I'd done my job.

"Three…Two…One…" Edward whispered.

This was not good. Not good because we were still in the room. Not good because out in the hallway were three armed men that had just regained their sight. Not good because we were trapped like rats in a cage.

"Three…Two…One…" Edward counted down again. I looked over at him, confused.

Then, as if sent to enlighten me by God himself, Emmett sprinted down the hallway at human speed, screaming like a little girl. In a child size hospital gown. With his twig and doodle berries out and about for all to see.

"What the-" One of the guards said, before joining the chase that the other two had started. I stood, stunned.

"I probably should have warned you, huh?" He asked me. "In hindsight, it may have given you time to close your eyes."

Mouth still wide open, I turned to him slowly. He looked down at me and smiled sheepishly. Then, his eyes clouded over and darkened a little, and he shook his head.

"Oh, I'm going to hurt him for that one later." He grumbled under his breath. Back when I was human, I may not have heard him. But now, it was clear as day.

"For what?"

"He wanted me to ask if you liked what you saw."

I laughed. "Not as much as what I see in front of me."

At that very moment, Emmett darted into the room and shut the door behind himself.

"But just to make things clear," He said. "You did like it."

"Oh good lord." I said, realizing the error in my words. "Not what I meant. What are you doing in here? Aren't you supposed to be our diversion?"

"Well, yeah, but-" He started.

"I hate in interrupt," Edward said, frowning at his brother awkwardly. "But could you tuck or something? Because the current situation is growing increasingly more awkward."

"I always knew you were a little gay." Emmett laughed, then jumped out of the way of Edward's fist. "But anyway, I rounded a corner fast on the opposite side of the wing, then ran as fast as I could back here. They're on the other side of the building, searching room by room for me."

"Room by room? You mean like the room that Alejandro may or may not be seducing a secret service agent in?"

"He's doing what? Oh man. Tanya is going to go POSTAL when she hears about this." Emmett laughed, then added. "Just kidding. I saw him over on the other side of the hospital. He was alone."

Edward nodded, ushering him toward the door. Emmett turned and winked at me, earning an eye roll and a shot in the arm by Edward, who I was focused on to avoid looking at Emmett.

But it was inevitable.

"Bye Bella." Emmett paused in the doorway. I took my eyes from Edward out of habit to look at him, and I caught a glimpse of his brilliantly white rear peaking out from the back of the tiny hospital gown.

"Very classy." Edward laughed, shoving him into the hallway. Emmett grinned, then ran around the corner and out of sight. A moment after his disappearance, I heard two gunshots echo around us. I saw Emmett stagger back around the corner and land hard on his back. Edward suddenly grabbed one of the bags of blood from my hands and stabbed a hole in it with his finger while running down the hall towards Emmett. I watched him squeeze the bag, sending blood all over his brother's supposedly dead body. I ran up next to him, holding my breath just as Edward and Emmett were.

"Are you OK?" I asked frantically, using as little air as I could. Emmett had his eyes closed, tongue hanging out of his mouth. I watched his mouth curve up into a big, dopey grin, and I suddenly understood. Edward shot blood onto the bullet holes in the gown.

"Where is your bag?" Edward asked.

"I gave it to Al." Emmett told us. Edward nodded and grabbed on to my hand, pulling me toward the door.

"But what about Emmett?" I asked, using up the last of my air. Edward tossed the empty bag of blood into a trash can marked 'hazardous materials' as he spoke.

"They just need to feel that he has no pulse, then he'll meet us outside." He explained. I heard another volley of shots, and I froze, as did Edward.

"They shot Alejandro." He told me, making my heart drop a little. "He said to leave him. He's going to get taken to the morgue, and he'll escape from there. He also says that he's going home. Something about how 'tap dancing in a mine field is safer than spending the day with us'."

Edward and I ran back to the stairwell where Alice waited. Together, we sprinted down the stairs and out the emergency exit at the bottom, where Rosalie sat.

"It's about damn time." She snorted. "I almost had to kiss that guy."

"How did you keep him distracted if you didn't kiss him?" I asked.

"A good old fashioned sleeper hold." She explained. "Where's Emmett?"

"Got shot." Edward told her.

She heaved in a big breath and rolled her eyes. "Again?!"

Edward and Alice nodded while we headed stealthily out to the parking lot to find Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme.

"We've got…" Alice trailed off for a moment. "Eighty-two seconds before every cop, FBI officer and CIA agent in all of Maryland is here."

Each of us turned, watching the door for Emmett to emerge. As the wailing sirens got louder, we all grew increasingly more anxious.

"Twelve seconds." Alice said, watching as the red and blue strobes of the police vehicles approached, illuminating the darkness. Just as the cars began to round the corner, Emmett came bursting through the door at top speed.

"What are we waiting for?" He shouted. "The poe-poe is right there! Let's get out of here!"

Needing no further encouragement, we all raced to our cars and tore from the parking lot, engines roaring. Once we'd been on the road for a while, Alice hopped back on to the radio.

"Well, now that that's all taken care of, can we PLEASE go where I want now? Over."

"Sure, Alice." Emmett said. "As long as it doesn't involve me getting shot again."

"No, it doesn't. But it does involve something a little bit illegal. Over."

"Illegal?" Emse reproached. "How illegal? Over."

"Just a little B and E. And maybe some theft. We all know we've done worse. Over."

"I'll have you know that I've never done anything illegal since the moment I was born. Over." Esme replied.

"Since when does breaking your son out of prison not count as illegal?" Alice asked, laughing. "Over."

A heavy silence fell over the radio

"Ouch. Shut DOWN!" Emmett teased. "Now, Alice, about this breaking and entering…"

* * *

WAL-MART SECURITY GUARD

* * *

**A/N- Now, wait. Before you read this next little bit, I really suggest go to the website and find the videos I posted there to add to the creepiness. I watched them to get into the whole 'sinister' spirit. On of them is in a different language (German, I think.) I didn't really realize how disturbing it was going to be until I was already too engrossed to stop watching. Those that are faint of heart are advised not to watch it. It basically freaked the living crap outta me. **

**Oh, and right now, go to play list dot com and search 'O Fortuna' by Carl Orff. It's the song playing from the radio. And you'll understand what I'm talking about as soon as you get to that part. **

**But I digress. **

* * *

I always hated nights like this. When the winds howled and the lightning struck, the lights would flicker. And, no matter how much of a man I was, being locked up alone in a massive store in the dark didn't sound fun to me. At all.

The forecast had predicted the Hurricane Mary would be striking the coast at around 5:30 in the morning, and the eye would move over Charleston by six. As the lights flickered and dimmed, I glanced around. Some of the shelves had been stripped of all of their items, like bottled water, duct tape, and bleach in preparation for the storm. At this point, my job was to hold down the fort and head off any possible looters. I had a running toilet, a stash of water and food, and my choice of the uncomfortable looking futon mattresses.

Making my way toward the cash registers, I grabbed a hold of the flashlight hanging out of my tool belt. The lights above my head hummed loudly before shorting out, plunging the store into murky darkness.

"Fantastic." I grumbled. I heard the hum of the generators kicking on, the one's that ran the freezers in cases like this one. Wandering around in the silence, I ran the beam of light from my Maglight around the cavernous building. My footsteps echoed around me as my shoes smacked against the floor tiles. Meandering my way over to the furniture section, I flopped down in a lawn chair. From this vantage point, I could see down three of the long columns of isles to the opposite wall by the shoes. My eyelids sagged as the weight of my all-nighter caught up with me. I let my head droop for the shortest of seconds, and I was gone.

An unknown amount of time into my painfully uncomfortable nap, I heard a sound jarring me from my sleep. I rolled my neck from side to side, pulling my head straight forward before opening my eyes.

Still unadjusted to the darkness, my bleary vision focused on something at the end of the isle, all the way across the store. Unsure of what I was seeing, I walked towards the enigma. I rubbed my hands across my eyes, trying to remoisten my parched contact lenses as I moved closer to the end of the store. By the time I'd reached the halfway point, my mind had come out of its haze, and I realized something that I had not noticed before.

Somewhere, inside the store, music was playing.

The sound was deep and muffled, which is probably why it hadn't struck me before. Ignoring my previous mission, I began moving toward the dark sound.

Unsurprisingly, the sound was emanating from the only place in the store with functioning electricity. The freezer.

Next to a single expired gallon of chocolate milk sat a stereo system, assembly one of the display models. The power chord was connected through a hole in the steel back of the refrigeration unit that I had never noticed before.

The music itself sent chills down my spine. It was sinister and operatic, with words in a different language. When I opened the freezer door, the sound flowed out bombastically, reaching a crescendo at that exact moment. The sudden increase of sound made me lurch back and drop the door, letting it slap back to it's resting place. I took another step back and glanced around.

The lightning from outside illuminated a midnight dark shadow, stepping silently out of sight not ten feet away from where I stood. The inside of my body iced over as I realized that the figure had been watching me. It had stood, completely and utterly unnoticed while I-

No! No. There was nothing there. I'm just hallucinating. One too many Day-Quil's will do that to you. I stepped back toward the plate glass door, pulling it open quickly and popping the CD out of the tray.

"Someone was just playing a joke on me." I reassured myself aloud. Walking quickly, I exiled myself to the farthest corner of the store from the freezers as I could get, snatching a lawn chair along the way. From where I'd positioned myself, I could see down both isles that lead to me, or at least as far as the darkness will allow.

My eyes darted back and forth down both columns, searching for any signs of life other than my own. After a few minutes, my pulse rate slowly declined, settling back into its normal pace, and the movements of my eyes slowed to a relaxed scan.

I heard a loud, metallic keen that could only be described as earsplitting from the other side of the building. I snapped my attention to the sound. The lightning flashed, illuminating a massive silhouette, standing at the end of the long isle in auto parts, staring directly at me. Then, as quickly as the light came, it disappeared, taking the shadow with it.

The lightning flashed seconds later, stopping my blood cold.

In the mere seconds between lightning flashes, the shadowy figure had moved a hundred feet closer. A feat that no human could perform. The massive shape appeared to be someone in a dark, billowy cloak with the hood pulled up to shroud the face in deep shadows. Again, the light disappeared, taking the masked figure with it.

With my breath held securely in my chest, I watched for the next bolt of lightning. When it flashed again, I knew I was doomed.

The apparition was now less than twelve feet away, looming silently as the winds howled outside. I could feel the adrenaline in my veins, pulsing in preparation for my escape.

The lightning flashed again.

The figure was inches away, bent over my body, close to my head. From the shadows of the hood, I hear a deep chuckle. I hold my breath for imminent death, and I can feel the breath of the apparition on my face. The silent moment that hangs between us could have cut diamonds.

"Boo." The deep voice echoes from inside the hood.

Now, I may have been a 45-year-old man, but when the occasion calls for it, I can scream like a little school girl.

And the occasion called for it.

My voice trilled in an octave that I previously only believed that dogs could hear as I scrambled back from the figure. For about ten seconds, I was like a cat on roller-skates, failing to gain any traction or behave with any sort of grace. When I finally found my footing, I ran at MACH 3 toward the other end of the store, not once glancing over my shoulder to see if I was being followed.

Then, suddenly, like the nightmare this morning was turning out to be, the masked figure stepped out into the isle, thirty feet in front of me.

I twirled around like and ice dancer and sprinted down a random isle, simply hoping to escape. I rooted around for a hiding place, quickly diving behind the frosty doors of the freezer. I bunched myself up into a small ball, wrapping my arms around my knees while shutting my eyes.

Then, in a sound that made my stomach fall out of my butt, a tinkling laugh came from the left. The sound was shushed by another on my right.

"Oh, please god, tell me I'm dreaming. Please let me be dreaming." I mumbled to myself.

"No such luck, cutie." One of the new voices said to me. Slowly, I opened my eyes to find myself seated between to teenage girls. The girl on my left had coppery eyes and dark brown hair that flowed over her shoulders and hung down as she relaxed, propping herself up on her elbows as she lied on her stomach. The girl on the right, the one who had spoke, was tiny, with short, jet black hair and yellowy eyes. She flashed me a bright smile, then turned to the other girl. "Three…Two…One."

I didn't hang around to see what she was counting down to. With another scream, I leapt out of the refrigeration unit and back into the isle. I could hear their laughter, but as of right now, I was simply too scared to care. I ran blindly toward pet care as fast as I could, gripping for my, until recently, forgotten flashlight. I swirled the beam over the bags of pet food, past the hamster cages, over the aquariums filled with fish and three human heads, over the cat litter, towards the dog collars and-

Trying to convince myself that I was, again, dreaming, I ran the beam across the fish tanks again. Inside, with open, unseeing eyes and gaping mouths, three heads rested at the bottoms of three tanks. My stomach heaved and twitched as I tried not to vomit. Finding three decapitated heads was more than I could ever hope to take. I swung the beam over the faces again, first on the ginger haired boy, then two blonde men. My beam was still trained on the oldest looking face when I noticed the tiniest bit of movement.

I snapped the light back over to the redhead, but saw nothing. Then, I could have sworn that I saw one of the blonde heads eyes move. Unsure of what to do, I turned my back to the aquariums, facing the boys clothing section. The mirror across the path from me was illuminated by the light of my flashlight, and, to my horror, I watched the three detached looking heads turn towards my back as the eyes focused on the reflection of mine in the mirror.

I felt all of the blood drain from my head, my eyes rolling back as I passed out. And, as crazy as it sounds, I swear, as I crumpled, I heard laughter.

* * *

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

I watched Stan the security guard pass out on the floor, slithering down toward the tile like he had no bones in his body. Emmett, still dressed in the black hoodie and bathrobe we'd given him, stepped out from the canned food section and looked down at him with a grin.

"That was so worth it." He laughed. "Did you see his face? I think he peed a little!"

Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper pulled their heads out from the hole they'd cut in the bottoms of the fish tanks, sending a tidal wave of stinky water across the floor. Alice appeared from nowhere, tossing them each a fluffy new towel while Esme, always the concerned mother, looked down at Stan.

"This man is going to have serious mental issues. I hope you're all happy." She frowned.

"No worries." Alice said, picking him up in her arms and running off. She reappeared, Stan-free. We all looked at her expectantly.

"He's back in his lawn-chair in home and garden. He'll think it was all a dream." She told us. This seemed to put Esme at ease, and we all walked toward the exit together.

"What next?" Emmett asked, his eyes alight with child-like excitement. I grimaced as Edward pulled me tighter against his soggy body.

"Showers. For the love of God, please let it be showers."

* * *

**-Big Sigh- **

**Ok. So this chapter is 4,164 words. The longest chapter I've ever written. EVER**

**Hopefully, that makes up for my rapidly approaching disappearance. I should be back around the 30th, ok?**

**I'll miss you guys!**

**Reviews would be cool, if you don't mind. **

**Kaythanksiloveyoubye**

**Mici**

**RANDOM SONGS**

**In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida - Iron Butterfly (Did You Know: The song used to be 'In The Garden Of Eden', but the singer was always drunk when he sang it, so it morphed into In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida)  
****Pretty When You Cry - VAST (Part of the 'Creepy Music Collection')  
****D.O.A. - Blood rock (Nothing like a song about a plane crash. Oye Vey) **


	17. HELP I need somebody

**A/N- Alright, now, I know you are all going to punch me in the face, which at this point is understandable. **

**But, **

**I need your help. **

**My mind is literally blank as of prank ideas. I've got everything but the actually prank written out, but seeing as there is no prank, we have a little issue. **

**Which is where you come in.**

**Any ideas that you could supply would be wonderful, especially the vampire vs. human variety. **

**I'm leaving for a scuba diving trip in less than 9 hours, which means that I won't be getting any of your ideas until Tuesday evening-ish. **

**I'm really sorry for doing this to you all again. I've been stuck in this place since the 30th, and then Breaking Dawn (OHMYGOD) came out, and everything else fell into second place. **

**Please, help me out! I'll love you forever**

**Mici**

**Just to keep this whole thing kosher, here's a tidbit of the next chapter. **

* * *

"_Aw sick!" Emmett whisper-shouted. "Newton's jerkin' the gherkin and thinking about Bella?"_

* * *

**Random Songs**

**Tongue Tied - Farber Drive  
****No Surprise - Theory Of A Deadman  
****The Final Countdown - Europe**


	18. Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This

**A/N- Hey there!**

**I know I've been gone for much longer than I said I'd be, but stuff's starting to get crazy, so you'll have to bare with me, ok?**

**And, I'd like to give a BIG thank you to all of you that gave me ideas. I'm not sure where this one came from, but I know I was reading one of your comments when the whole thing drew itself out in my mind. **

**So, be proud of yourselves. This chapter wouldn't be around if it weren't for you guys!**

**Let's get it going, eh?**

"_He's back in his lawn-chair in home and garden. He'll think it was all a dream." She told us. This seemed to put Esme at ease, and we all walked toward the exit together._

"_What next?" Emmett asked, his eyes alight with child-like excitement. I grimaced as Edward pulled me tighter against his soggy body._

"_Showers. For the love of God, please let it be showers."_

* * *

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

Timidly, I took the radio out of the cup holder and held it to my lips.

"Carlisle? Over."

"Yes Bella? Over." Carlisle replied. I looked over at Edward, the question in my eyes. His bronze hair was still somewhat soggy from his 'hurricane shower'. Alice, Esme, and I had forced Edward, Jasper, and Carlisle to stand in the rain while we washed their hair with some stolen shampoo. After the fishy funk had been thoroughly rinsed, we led them back inside for some clean, dry clothes.

Edward's tee-shirt now boasted "_The voices in my head don't like you_."

He nodded for me to continue, and I did.

"Do you think that a trip back to Forks would be OK?" I asked. "Over."

"Bella, you know that you can not be seen. People would notice your change. And, Edward being in town without would raise major flags. Over." He told us reasonably.

Edward's face suddenly cracked into a big, toothy smile. I perked an eyebrow at him, and he turned away from the soaking road.

"Alice just said he caves. And you are brilliant. Have I told you that before?" He said, acknowledging the plan that Alice in motion.

"Once or twice." I grinned back. I lifted the radio to my mouth to give my points of reason to Carlisle, but Alice was already on the horn, babbling at top speed.

"…And there's no way anyone will see them. And just think, we can give Charlie a message for Bella. And if everything worked out the way it did before Bella's whole time reversal thingie, all the wolves are out in Alaska right now. And another thing-"

"I've got it, Alice." Carlisle chuckled. "I guess we can make a quick trip to Forks. Over."

EdwardcullenEdwardcullenEdwardcullenEdwardcullenEdwardcullen

The flight over the time zones put us in Forks at the same time we has left the airport on the East coast. Edward had made a quiet but pathetic scene when we'd dropped the McLaren off.

"Goodbye beautiful." He'd said pitifully, running his fingers across the glimmering orange paint.

"Oh, that's enough." I grumbled. "If you behave yourself, I might get you one for Christmas."

"But that's so far away." He whined, pouting.

"And if you don't cut out this baby crap, it'll be your birthday!" I'd said, teasing him. Alice rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Now you know what it was like with me and the 911."

Edward turned his head to her in mock ire. "I'm so sorry I made you wait so long, dear sister."

I'd rolled my eyes at him, and his face split into that perfectly imperfect grin.

Now, we were back in rainy Washington, rocketing along the highway at top speed.

"Who will we be visiting first? Over." Emmett asked gleefully. I played a quick game of eeny-meany-miney-moe on my fingers, making a few cycles before landing on the first one.

"Ladies and gentlemen…and Emmett, we have our first victim." Edward said into the radio, grinning in a particularly wicked way. "Over and out."

* * *

MIKE NEWTON'S POINT OF VIEW (Yep, I went there.)

* * *

I sat in my old bedroom, pawing through my high school yearbooks to refresh the faces in my mind. Most had come back for the summer, showing off their new boyfriends or hiding their freshman 15.

In fact, the only ones that didn't come back were the ones I wanted to see the most.

Or I should say one.

_Mike, _

_It's amazing, isn't it? We're finally finished. It feels like only a week ago that you were introducing yourself to me on my first day, and now we're headed off to college! Thank you for being such a great, loyal friend, even when I wasn't. Good luck in business school and with the rest of your life. _

_I'll never forget you. _

_-Bella Swan_

_P.S. - And, for the record, I did NOT stab Edward with a pencil in biology that day. _

_:)_

I read over her words, scrawled messily across the page. She'd scribbled them out after school one day while Cullen sat in his car, waiting to drive her home. When she'd finished, she gave me a hug and hopped into the car.

I could have sworn that Edward smirked at me before latching on to Bella's face like a leech. I hadn't particularly meant to watch, but when they finally broke apart, Cullen looked right at me and popped one of his eyebrows up on his forehead, almost like a _'Go ahead. Give it a shot. I dare you.' _

God I hate Edward Cullen.

His stupid perfect hair, stupid perfect face, stupid car, stupid family, stupid charm, stupid-

I heard a snorting sound outside, but brushed it off quickly. I glanced back at the rest of the signatures, zeroing in on one that I wasn't even sure why I'd asked for it.

_Newton-_

_Though we've had differences in the past year, I appreciate the way you treated Bella in my unfortunate absence. _

_Bella and I will see you at the wedding. _

_Better luck next time._

_-Edward Cullen_

I ground my teeth against each other. The nerve of that kid! How could one person be so pompous?

'_Better luck next time'_? What a douche bag.

I heard the snorting noise again, followed by an odd scuffling. Curious, I walked over to my window, only to find nothing there.

_It must be my imagination. _I thought to myself. _Sleep deprivation does that to people. _

I ambled out of bed, grabbing my towel from the hook on the back of my bedroom door. My mom had to go meet some suppliers in Seattle, and was forcing me to open the store for her, hence the early morning delirium. I turned the water on, listening to the thumping of the pipes as they worked. When the water was just a step below scorching, I hopped in, and let my mind wander to the lovely Bella Swan.

* * *

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

We waited until the steady rain of the shower became an odd, disjointed pattern that could only be caused by someone moving beneath it before entering through the window. As the last one in, I was teetering on the edge of the window sill when Alice stopped dead and turned to Edward.

"Stay calm." She commanded in a hushed voice.

"Stay calm? What is there to be upset-" Edward abruptly stopped speaking. His posture changed, making his spine ram-rod straight. He turned to me, his eyes flashing furry, nostrils flaring. I looked back at him, alarmed.

"What?" I asked.

"Newton…Shower…You…Kill…" he seethed, his words coming out in long hisses.

"Alice, translation?"

"Newton is in the shower, thinking about you."

"OK. So what?"

"Uhm…that's not all he's doing." She said, slightly uncomfortable. I felt my stomach twitch and turn.

"Aw SICK!" Emmett whisper-shouted. "Newton's jerkin' the gherkin and thinking about Bella?"

I frowned, shooting my fist out to connect with Emmett's shoulder. He snickered at me, making vulgar pelvic thrusts and moaning my name in Newton's voice.

"I wouldn't be so happy, Emmett. Rosalie's there too…" He trailed off, the look on his face growing more horrified as the seconds ticked on. "Oh, good lord! What is the matter with…" He trailed off again.

"What?"

Edward shivered- borderline convulsion- and looked over at me.

"I don't want to talk about it. Can we please just get this done so we can get out of here?"

"What? Am I not pretty enough for Newton?" Alice pouted.

"Please, can we not talk about this?" Edward groaned pitifully.

"No! I can't believe that the likes of Mike Newton doesn't think I'm hot enough-"

"Enough Alice. All three of you were there! And you were… We're not talking about what you were all doing, alright?!" Edward snapped. If I could have blushed, my entire face would be a deep shade of crimson, and as hot as the surface of the sun as a thick, awkward silence landed over us like a blanket. It hung over us for a moment, until someone (guess who!) spoke.

"Well, he's not the first one who's thought about it." Emmett chuckled, earning an astonished look from everyone in the room. Even Rosalie was too stunned to react. She just stood, mouth agape as she stared at her husband. "Oh my god. Would you all relax? I was only kidding!"

"Somehow, I doubt that." Jasper frowned, snapping out of the disturbed trance. "Can we please just get this over with?"

Each of us nodded, still silent, and got to work.

* * *

MIKE NEWTON'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

Sighing with content, I wrapped my towel around my waist and walked back to my bedroom. The bed looked simply too inviting, and I flung myself onto it, closing my eyes as I felt sleep creeping up on me again.

When I brought myself back around, I found that I was sitting at my kitchen table, smelling eggs and cooking bacon. When I looked towards the stove, I almost had a massive coronary.

Standing in my mothers pale pink silk robe was Emmett Cullen, turning the eggs in a pan with his back to me. The floral pattern of the robe was strained and grotesquely morphed as it tried to stretch over his massive shoulders.

Suddenly, he turned, revealing through the open front of the robe that he wore only a black tee shirt and a pair of white boxers with red hearts.

"Hello there, Figgy. How did you sleep?" He asked, his deep voice booming. My mind reeled for a moment before I finally realized.

It's just a dream.

"Uh…fine." I said, my voice scratchy, like I'd just woken up. Before I could blink, the tiny, squeaky one had appeared in the room.

"Hey Mike!" She squealed before turning to Emmett. "Did you need something, dear?"

"Why yes," Emmett said, looking down at her. "Would you mind taking me to the woods? I broke the wooden spoon with my clumsiness, and I need to carve a new one."

"Certainly." The tiny one replied. She squatted the slightest bit and Emmett leap-frogged himself onto her tiny shoulders. Giggling to each other, Alice marched out the front door with Emmett on her shoulders, forcing him to shrink down to fit through the doorway. I sat, shaking my head in confusion. What the hell kind of dream was this, anyway?

"Mike? HEY MIKE!" A voice called from the office. I got up slowly, walking into the room to find the blonde Cullen seated behind the desk with an odd contraption before him.

"Newton." He said, his voice deep and clear. I'd never realized before now that I'd never heard his voice before this very moment. He had a touch of a southern accent.

"Yeah?" I asked, looking apprehensively at the digital clock with wires sprouting from it. Rather than showing the time, it seemed to be ticking down to zero.

"Newton," he said frantically. "You've gotta help me."

I felt a wave of terror roll over me as the realization hit.

The bomb before us ticked lower.

"I can't decide which color. Blue or red. BLUE OR RED?" He shouted at me. My body pumped with adrenaline and I sprinted over to where he sat, peering at the bomb. A small cylinder with 'C-4' printed on it was wrapped in multicolored wires, all of which lead back to the clock.

"COME ON, BLUE OR RED?!" He screamed again. The panic in my body was making me feel like I could jump out of my own skin.

"Blue! NO WAIT! RED! NO BLUE!" I said, my terror taking over. Jasper moved the wire cutters over to the blue wire. Instinctively, I slammed my hands over my eardrums and ducked as he clipped the wire. As the metal of the clippers snipped through the wire, an electric glow came over him and he shook violently as the current flowed within his body. When the convolutions stopped, I ran over to his body and put two fingers against his neck, searching for his pulse like I'd seen people do in the movies.

There wasn't one.

I backed away from the lifeless body and out of the room , holding back a scream. I wandered clumsily to my room, stopping at my closed door. I rested in the hallway as the terror ebbed for what felt like hours. The only thing that brought me back to the present was a chorus of giggle from inside my bedroom. Slowly, I opened my door.

Ah, so it was going to be one of _those_ dreams.

Two women were in my bed, swatting at each other with my pillows as I stepped across the threshold. One was the hot blonde Cullen sister, and the other was a gorgeous brunette. The stopped what they were doing when I entered the room and turned to me with little smiles on their faces. Only when I saw the brunette smile did I finally recognize her.

"Bella?" I asked in quiet awe.

The woman with the silky mahogany hair nodded and winked at me, sending a shiver down my spine and straight to my pelvis. She was pinned under the blonde, who straddled her with a pillow raised above her head. The blonde lifted her log leg over Bella's hips, freeing her. She sat up slowly and walked over, her steps graceful and deliberate. Stopping only inches from me, she placed her hands on my chest and smiled up at me.

"Mike," She said, her voice beautiful and chiming. "I've missed you."

"I-I missed you too." I stuttered out. She flashed an ultra white smile at me and tossed her hair over her shoulder. A thick, delicious smell floated to my nose; strawberries, lilacs and freesias.

"No, Mike. I mean I missed you," She leaned up, her face close enough that her lips brushed against my ear as she whispered. "A lot."

My stomach quivered with butterflies as I felt her eyelashes brush against my cheek. She pulled her face back only far enough for her to be able to touch her lips to mine. Just before I finally got what I'd been waiting for for what felt like forever, I heard my window slide open and bang against the top of the frame. When I looked over, Edward Cullen stood, staring at us furiously.

"Bella, what is this?" He seethed.

"I'm sorry, Edward." She said mournfully. She turned to look into my eyes. "But it has always been Mike."

"But Bella," He said, his voice desperate. "I love you."

"I can't, Edward. I just can." She said sadly.

Suddenly, Edward was airborne. He grabbed on to Bella's waist as he flew by, then landed silently on the floor with her in his arms. Rosalie, who had been silent through the entire encounter, screamed loudly as she sprinted from the room, waving her arms around. Bella used Rosalie's distraction to escape Edward's grasp. She shoved me back onto the bed, sprawling me like a rag doll. Edward marched over, murder in his eye.

"OK, I'm ready to wake up now!" I said frantically to myself. I felt my body relax, like I'd taken a handful of Tylenol PM. The last thing I saw before I passed out of my dream and into full unconsciousness was Edward plant a forceful kiss on Bella, which she returned eagerly. Then, he leaned over my lethargic form and whispered to me.

"This one's mine. Go get your own."

* * *

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

As Mike's eyes rolled back in his head, Edward snickered quietly to himself, proud of what we'd accomplished.

"Alright, I know it was good, but I think you're getting a little too big for your britches, Cullen." I laughed. Edward turned to me and arched an eyebrow.

"Well, only you will ever know what's going on in my britches." He winked suggestively. "And I just left a little something for Newton is all."

* * *

MIKE NEWTON'S POINT OF VIEW

* * *

The sound of a car door slamming startled me away, and I immediately jumped up from my bed. I paced back and forth, completely and utterly disturbed. Suddenly realizing I had to be at work in 15 minutes, I threw on my uniform and sprinted outside to the car. I backed out of the driveway, passing the mailbox. The little flag boasted that it held letters inside, which I reached out the window to grab.

It didn't particularly dawn on me that I'd seen my mother get the mail as I waved to her from the window this morning when she left until after I'd ripped open the envelope, inscribed with my name in oddly familiar handwriting on it.

I pulled out a picture, the only thing in the envelope. The glossy paper was a picture of Bella and Cullen, arms wrapped around each other's waists. Bella's back was bowed, and she had her head tipped back to she could smile lovingly up at Edward, who was looking directly into the camera with a smug smile. Gritting my teeth, I flipped the picture over.

On the back, in Cullen's impeccable handwriting, he'd wrote:

_Bella and Edward_

_August 26__th_

_Honeymoon Number 1_

_Ben Nevis, Scotland_

Then, underneath, in a different color and fresh ink, it read:

_This one's mine. Go get your own. _

"What a DOUCHEBAG!" I shouted to no one in particular. I curl of disturbed, twisting fear lazed around in my system when I recognized the phrase, but I quickly dismissed it. My eye caught on another, much larger envelope in the mailbox, curled slightly. I pulled it out apprehensively and opened it.

Inside was a note lying on top of a magazine. Again, there was Edward's taunting handwriting.

_But until you do, here's some new material for you to think about._

I lifted the note to find a copy of Playboy with a snide _'Enjoy your subscription, Mr. Newton' _etched on the front.

* * *

**OK. That's all. **

**Review, please and thanks!!**

**Kaythanksiloveyoubye**

**Mici**

**Random Songs**

**Sweet Dreams - Marylin Manson (Do I even need to explain why?)  
****Eye - The Smashing Pumpkins  
****Paper Planes - M.I.A. (Fucking love this song. Not sure why, but I really do.)**


	19. All Good Things Come To An End

**A/N- I know, I've been gone for way too long, but my life has gotten so busy lately that fan fiction has basically become an impossibility. **

**So, it is with great regret that I inform you that the next chapter of 'Next July Fools Day' will, in fact, be the last. **

**I'm sure most of you are flying off the handle right now, but I don't think I've been doing this story the justice it deserves, and my creativity has basically run dry. So, as much as I love the story, seeing as it's predecessor introduced me to fan fiction and all of you that read my stories, I think it's time that it's brought to a close. **

**This also means I'll be pulling out all of the stops. And I'd like your help. **

**Jessica and Lauren are the human targets, but vamp on vamp pranks and physical assaults are going to be involved as well. **

**Any suggestions are welcome. **

**Get ready for the showdown ending of all time, OK?**

**Here's a little preview.**

_And then she bit down. Hard. The metallic keen of the detachment, however, could not be heard over his scream. It was so violently pitched it literally shattered the nearby bay window and every dog within a half mile radius howled in pain. _

"_Oops! Did I do that?" She asked angelically as she placed a hand on her hip in a 'fuck you' gesture that was purely her. He whimpered loudly, then rooted around, looking for the part of his anatomy that had recently become detached. _

**Music**

**In The End - Linkin Park  
****More Human Than Human - White Zomie  
****Pride - Syntax**


End file.
